-- Joan Osbourne: She's famous (or just known for) her one-hit confection "One of Us," but her first effort was an overall amazing album. At least as far as the Liz Phairian ouvre goes, we think. She performs with Victoria George at 8 p.m. at Slim's, 333 11th St. (at Folsom); $26.

-- Natural Born Hooker: The all-caps happy counterPULSE Theatre brings us the in's and the out's of one man's ten-year journey as a whore. Aaron Orr stars and Michael Hauser directs this sexually-charged play. Two shows start at 8 p.m and 10 p.m. at counterPULSE, 1310 Mission (at Ninth St.); $12-$25 (for the performance only, perv.)

-- United By Sound, Edison Gem, and Amber Tamblyn: Girl Fest Bay Area goes into action, featuring a guest appearance by Russ Tamblyn's DNA sample and star of the now-dead Joan of Arcadia and the joyous Sisterhood/Pants (a movie we totally did not cry while watching, so shut up!) The show starts at 9 p.m. at Cafe Du Nord, 2170 Market (at Sanchez); $15.

-- SF Jewish Film Festival: This you call a film festival? Of course! Sweet Mud (AKA Adama Meshuga'at) -- a movie about a 12-year-old boy and his mother on an Israeli kibbutz -- launches the festivities tonight. Opening reception starts at 6:30 p.m. (film screens at 8 p.m.) at the Castro Theatre, Castro and Market Streets; $11.