Conservative sports bros rolled into SF for the Super Bowl declaring “We’ve been told this place is a shithole.” After seeing the sights and taking in some Square Pie Guys, they were singing the city’s praises.

Maybe it’s just the Super Bowl hangover talking, but I’d say San Francisco repped itself magnificently over the course of our now-completed Super Bowl week. The Super Bowl parties all went off without a hitch and exceeded expectations, there were no high-profile crime incidents grabbing the headlines (though there were in San Jose), and the weather was fabulous to where people could enjoy the incomparable scenery.  

But it will always be more profitable/clickable to shit on San Francisco, so of course some elements were determined to go that direction no matter what.

Example Number One would be two Boston “afternoon zoo” shock-jock sports radio hosts named Michael Felger and Tony Massarotti, better known as Felger & Mazz. They pulled into town last week, did their show locally, and busted out old anti-SF tropes that even they admitted were ten-year-old takes.

“I deemed it the zombie apocalypse in 2016. It is the zombie apocalypse,” Felger declared to his WBZ-FM audience. “It is just the tweaked out, not just winos or homeless or down on their luck. The ‘out of a horror movie’ tweaked-out drug element is just… It’s a lot.”

“I have two pieces of advice if you’re coming here, head on a swivel, okay?” he added. “Just be aware of your surroundings and seek higher ground. The higher you go, the neighborhoods automatically get a little nicer the higher you go. I think it’s because the zombies can’t walk up the hills."

That drew a retort from the Chronicle’s resident Minister of SF Culture Peter Hartlaub. “You’re safe here, and violent crime is low compared with other big cities. (Last year San Francisco saw the fewest homicides since 1954!),” Hartlaub wrote. “Also, don’t leave electronics in your car. Be aware of your surroundings when walking downtown. And if you’re coming to town with children or adults who are sheltered, be ready for some complex conversations about what wealth disparity is doing to our country."

“But a ‘Mad Max’ dystopia? Get to high ground to escape people in wheelchairs? A zombie apocalypse?” he continued. “Are all adult male Patriots fans this fragile and soft?"

Well at least “Felger & Mazz” lost their game and are having a sad trip home. Other more prominent and well-known Trump-y podcasters had a look around the city, and their preconceived notions about SF went up in medical marijuana smoke.

Consider ESPN’s Pat McAfee, well-known to be ESPN’s Number One Trumper.

“We’ve been told this place is a shithole,” McAfee said on his show Friday while hosting George Kittle. “This place has been gorgeous. This place has been incredible. And you can feel it’s a football town.”

McAfee also had Mayor Lurie on Thursday, and McAfee gushed, “We were so surprised by what we had been told and expected versus when we walk through the streets and got here. It’s like, the buildings are beautiful… there are so many hills, there were people running, it was a very active city. It felt like, I’d not known this about San Francisco.”

Probably the most racist and detestable right-wing Masshole to come change his views of SF was Patriots fan and Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy, the rape-joke comic known for his videos where he tosses around the n-word, and for his litany of sexual misconduct allegations.

But Portnoy’s army of Barstool bros had quite the nice impression of San Francisco while visiting. “San Francisco, terrific city,” Barstool Sports podcaster Brandon Walker observed upon his visit. “Top Five city. We got a problem in this country of everybody on one side looks at a city like that and says ‘Oh, you’re going to get shot, it’s terrible. You're going to be on drugs. Homeless people are going to eat your face.’”

“If you’re going down the street, and you’re up on those hills particularly, every time you come to a stop sign, if you look right or left, you’re going to have the most magnificent view you’ve ever seen,” he continued. “You’ll be looking at Alcatraz right out on the water. You’ll be looking right out at the Golden Gate Bridge. You’ll be looking at the Bay Bridge. It’s just a phenomenal, phenomenal, phenomenal town.”