Blaze one up to check out the biggest scandal of the day, as the New York Times has an exhaustive new exposé on how Elon Musk was hopped up on ketamine, ecstasy, mushrooms, and Adderall on the Trump campaign, and maybe in the White House.

Today is one of those fun “resistance” days on social media, kind of like when Trump got COVID, because of a wild new exposé detailing just how many drugs Elon Musk has been imbibing, and how much. It seemed a funny but throwaway issue during the first Trump administration when Musk was smoking pot on Joe Rogan’s show, or during the Biden administration, when Tesla and SpaceX board members were freaking out over Musk's alleged cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine use.

But once Musk decided to go full MAGA and spent about $275 million of his own money to get Trump elected again, and was allowed to dismantle the US government based on whatever fucked-up mood he was in that day, Musk’s drug use became a vastly more problematic issue.  

And maybe we don’t realize just how problematic this was. Today’s New York Times has a stunning report on Musk’s extensive use of drugs on the Trump campaign trail, raising questions about how high Musk has been while visiting the White House and working for the US government.

According to the Times report, Musk “told people he was taking so much ketamine, a powerful anesthetic, that it was affecting his bladder, a known effect of chronic use. He took Ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms. And he traveled with a daily medication box that held about 20 pills, including ones with the markings of the stimulant Adderall.”

To be clear, the Times report does not specify, or even allege, any drug use while Musk has been visiting the White House or working as a powerful government advisor. But you can draw your own conclusions about Musk’s erratic patterns of shouting matches and Nazi salutes that have characterized this period.

Musk has already told Don Lemon he’d been using ketamine, which is legal with a prescription. But per the Times, umm, these were not small amounts.

“Mr. Musk had been using ketamine often, sometimes daily, and mixing it with other drugs, according to people familiar with his consumption,” the Times reports. “The line between medical use and recreation was blurry, troubling some people close to him.”

“He also took Ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms at private gatherings across the United States and in at least one other country, according to those who attended the events.”

Musk's initial response to the Times report, published at 5 am PT this morning, was a Twitter post today hoping to emphasize that he is very good at video games.

“He plays video games for hours on end,” the Times adds. “He struggles with binge eating, according to people familiar with his habits, and takes weight-loss medication. And he posts day and night on his social media platform, X.”

CNN reports that Musk actually had a scheduled press conference right alongside Trump today. That was scheduled for 10:30 am PT, but did not start until 11 am. Hmm, maybe Elon needed just a few more minutes to pull himself together?

That press conference did indeed happen, though the only reporters who were allowed to ask questions were complete Trump sycophants. Fox News’ Steve Doocy brought up the only question on the Times report, and Trump supporters are claiming that Musk “destroyed The New York Times” with his response. You can judge for yourself whether that’s true in the video of the exchange below.

“Wait, wait, the New York Times, is that the same publication that got a Pulitzer Prize for false reporting on the Russiagate?,” Musk responds. “Is it the same organization? I think it is. I think it is. I think the judge just ruled against the New York Times for their lies about the Russiagate hoax, and that they might have to give back that Pulitzer Prize. That New York Times? Let’s move on.”

The obsequious suck-ass that he is, Doocy does not attempt a follow-up question.

Not only is this an evasive non-denial and desperate attempt to change the subject, Musk's answer is complete bullshit. Yes, the New York Times and Washington Post shared a 2018 Pulitzer Prize for their reporting on the Trump campaign’s connections to Russia. And not a single word of that reporting has been discredited or proven in any way inaccurate.

What Musk refers to here is that Trump has sued the Pulitzer Prize Board for libel. Back in July, the judge in that case simply rejected a bid to dismiss the case. That is by no means ruling “against the New York Times” (the lawsuit is not against them). There has been absolutely no discussion of returning the Pulitzer Prize. It simply means that Trump’s lawsuit has not been tossed out.

But White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller also responded to the Times' report in the CNN clip above.

“The drugs I’m concerned about are the drugs that are coming across the border from the criminal cartels that are killing hundreds of thousands of Americans,” Miller told CNN.

Yes, but how much of those drugs are going straight up Elon’s nose?

There is also the matter that Musk’s SpaceX is a government contractor, and must maintain a drug-free workplace, so therefore has strict drug-testing rules. But the Times reports that Musk gets advance warning on his own drug tests.

The Times also goes into the issue of Musk's newfound fixation on having as many children by as many different baby-mamas as possible. As noted by the Times, Musk’s most recent child with conservative author Ashley St. Clair is his 14th child by the fourth different mother. And it is well documented, as seen above, that he’s having custody and parenting issues with pop stars Grimes.

Grimes says that Musk is violating their custody agreement by putting the child in the public eye, and even dragging the youngster into the White House. Grimes was reportedly mortified when Musk also went and had twins with one of his Neuralink executives behind her back.

The much larger question is whether this drug use was happening while Musk has been working in the White House, and whether decisions to slash the US government were being made by a man who was high out of his mind. And we imagine there will be further reporting on this.

But to answer another question that is surely on many people’s minds: no there will be no Mike Myers impersonation on Saturday Night Live this weekend. Saturday Night Live wrapped up with its season finale two weeks ago.

Note: This post has been updated with Elon Musk's response if a Friday press conference.

Related: Report: Elon Musk’s Alleged Drug Use Creating Problems for Tesla, SpaceX Board Members [SFist]

Image: BUTLER, PENNSYLVANIA - OCTOBER 05: Elon Musk leaves the stage after addressing a campaign rally with Republican presidential nominee, former President Donald Trump at the Butler Farm Show fairgrounds on October 05, 2024 in Butler, Pennsylvania. This is the first time that Trump has returned to Butler since he was injured during an attempted assassination on July 13. (Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)