Hey, everybody! Guess what? Niki Taylor is in town. She's here to give San Francisco money. Because we're broke, that's why. Who is Niki Taylor, you ask? Well, first of all, shame on you, you heathen. Second, she was one of the top supermodels to brighten our lives during the '90s, along with Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington, Tatjana Patitz, Claudia Schiffer, and, of course, Linda Evangelista, the most important woman in the history of time and space. Anyway, Taylor, now a contestant on The Celebrity Apprentice, is also part of the Reader's Digest "We Hear You America" 100 Cities/100 Days RV Tour, which is traveling coast-to-coast to provide $5 million in financial and promotional stimulus to towns hit hard by the continued economic downturn.

Taylor will hand San Francisco a pin-thin $1,000 check.

What's more, according to reports, Mayor Ed Lee refused to meet with the supermodel due to a lousy $1,000 check scheduling conflicts. City Insider notes: "Lee's spokeswoman, Christine Falvey, said the mayor's schedule had already filled up by the time they heard from folks at Reader's Digest that Taylor would be in town toting a $1,000 check as part of their 'We Hear You America' promotion."

Instead, an underling from the mayor's office of economic and workforce development will be on hand to receive it when Taylor presents it tomorrow at a 10:30 am ceremony at Justin Herman Plaza.

While we understand that Lee can't meet with Taylor due to scheduling conflicts, we can only imagine the Dan White-like ire he could've sparked had he, say, refused a meeting with Miss Linda Evangelista. Because that's just crazy.