Larry Ellison's latest ego stroke: screening a documentary about himself. [Valleywag] Apple losing market share among muggers too. [Chronicle] Humphry Slocombe coming to the pinnacle of foodie-ness: the Ferry Building. [Inside Scoop] "Funky,

Get an HIV or STD test, get free coupons to Castro businesses. [SFEx] Giants pull out a sweep against the Diamondbacks. Hilarious .gif hijinks ensue. [McCovey Chron] Mission Chinese Food expanding beyond S.

Apple patents thing that tells you whether you should call or text your friends. Neat. [TNW] Insecurity theater: In this post-Boston Marathon world, it's a real pain in the ass to get into

In case you were wondering what Jason Collins' aunt, S.F. Judge Teri Jackson, thought about her nephews big Sports Illustrated coming out party: now you know. [BCN/Appeal] From "All-night roof parties"

Fancy car owners get all revved up on Nob Hill. [Chron] Here is a very detailed description of a Civic Center iPhone sting operation. [HuffPo] Four men had to be rescued after an

Google Billionaire Eric Schmidt is creating a scary new machine-worship cult. [TheAwl] How to join the Golden State Warriors bandwagon. Might as well, since we'll have them in town in a couple years.

A four-year-old reviews Mission Chinese Food with his face. [BoldItalic] Six romantic date spots that won't decimate your paycheck. [GrubSF] Is Twitter, like the Wall Street banks, too big to fail? [Chron] Was

12 bars that made San Francisco gay, in chronological order. [Out.com] Gay NFL prospect is a potential pioneer. (Also a damn good kicker.) [NYT] Sports! Golden State Warriors panned the Nuggets 131-117

The Grove on Chestnut Street in the Marina is closing, New York Times blames it on the tech crowd. [NYT] From the people who brought you such (fake) bars as Reclaimed Wood + Subway

San Francisco declares 2013 "The Year of the Child" even though there are, like, four of them here. [Chron] Delightful artist Wendy MacNaughton illustrates the Petaluma See Bank. [ModernFarmer] "If I'm a 'gentrifier'

While the country is spending the morning with their eyes on Boston, here a couple lighter items from closer to home: Kale: not just for salads anymore. [GrubSF] Vacuum advertisement gets a little

A $70,000 "bicycle barometer" will go up on Market Street to keep a running tally of eastbound cyclists. ($20k of the funds were donated, by the way.) [BCN/Appeal] Delfina changed the

When is a little cocaine too much cocaine? Michelle Tea dives in nose-first. [BoldItalic] Meet the first digital generation. (Spoiler alert: they're all 20 years old.) [Wired] Poor grades for art school student

Chronicle freelancer sleeps over in a shoebox apartment. Spends his time watching a Charlton Heston epic and eating a sandwich. [Chron] Muni bus swipes building at 20th and Illinois. [MuniDiaries] Man threatens to

Eight-year-old boy suffers cardiac arrest after being hit by a baseball in a little league game in Rohnert Park. [Chron] Where has SFMTA been spending all their Prop. A money? [SFEx] An update

Historic burrito summit underscores genius of Chipotle, deliciousness of La Taqueria. [Slate] Schmendricks bagels gone for good? [InsideScoop] Twitter has a music app launching Friday and Ryan Seacrest loves it. [TechCrunch] Sorry Napa

Meet Corner Store George, he of Rhea's Deli in the Mission. (One time he competed in the Mr. Mission Competition, but we're still trying to forget that. [Chron] 35 years ago, the Lower

SFPD hosting Town Hall meeting tonight to address officer-involved shooting on Sunday morning. [BCN/Appeal] [Previously] Construction watch: work begins on new 15-story Hampton Inn in SoMa, on a site formerly owned by

iPad-swiping "Cubicle Con" busted. Saison's new drink menu includes whiskey-infused coal-fired popcorn. [GrubStreet] Is Hi-Lo BBQ the best restaurant to open in San Francisco this year? Patty Unterman thinks so. [Unterman] Eating your

Oakland police searching for a suspect who shot an off-duty EMT in his car in broad daylight. [KTVU] Coming Soon: a supermarket in West Oakland. [KQED] Your illustrated fashion guide for Spring 2013

Man arrested for vandalizing City Hall on Easter Sunday. [SFAppeal] Reborn Red Vic/Alembic now shooting to open in August. [EaterSF] More people in San Francisco are overdosing on painkillers than heroin. [Chron]

Want to buy the Harding Theater on white-hot Divisadero for a cool $4.2 million? How about a deli instead? (Sidenote: Seeing the Alamo Square Deli is especially sad for this SFist editor,

After five days reporting from behind the Chronicle paywall, SFist alum Rita Hao concludes "this experiment is a bust." [SFAppeal] A Q&A with Empress of China bartender Pearl Tom. [SFEx] David