Yep, it's Cinco de Drinko again, a.k.a. St. Patrick's Day for margaritas, a.k.a. another excuse to get drunk after/during work. Assuming you're a professional imbiber and you wouldn't be caught dead, say, at Aventine's annual cluster of crazy on this day celebrating Mexico's victory over France at the 1862 Battle of Puebla, we have a couple of more mature choices for you, several of which involve solid food. You may just want to consult our list of the Best Margaritas in SF and call it a day. As always, you should do your best to steer clear of Hurricane Ashley. Also, remember, between shots, to tell your non-Latino friends: This is not Mexican Independence Day.

Taco-Chella
More than 12 food trucks‬ gather for lunch through dinner for taco specials at this ecclectic SoMa semi-permanent party. You'll find games like skeeball, tons of tables, plus beer and sangria specials. One item that might kill you: "Triple B" Tacos from Bacon Bacon. That's pork butt, crispy pork belly, bacon, and queso fresco with pickled peppers on corn tortillas. If you aren't looking for thrice the pork, note that every truck has a taco special, so there will likely be something for every palate. —Caleb Pershan
SoMa StrEat Food Park, 428 11th Street between Harrison and Bryant Streets, 11 a.m to 9 p.m., Free with RSVP

Hispanic Panic
At the Cinecave — sometimes known as the Cynic Cave (comedians, guys) — you're supporting great local comics on top of Lost Weekend Video, the Cave's home on Valencia Street. That's also well worth checking out these days because they've just finished putting in tons of new vinyl you can peruse or buy thanks to a new partnership with 1-2-3-4 Go! records. Tonight's bill: "Avoid all the sensational cultural celebration and listen to the reality of several modern Latin comedians who live and perform in San Francisco." It's hosted by William Lushbough, and according to promotional materials at least, none of the comedians speaks Spanish. —Caleb Pershan
Lost Weekend Video, 1034 Valencia Street between 21st and 22nd Streets, 8 p.m., $10 at the door.

Hecho
The biggest messes, Cinco-wise, will be clustered around the Financial District, SoMa, the Marina, Mission, and destination spots like Tommy's Mexican. So, the traditionally very drunk Castro district might be one of your safer bets this evening. Over at nine-month-old Hecho they're celebrating their very first Cinco de Mayo with $5 margs and $15 pitchers of their signature margaritas, as well as all the other variations they have on the menu. Also there'll be live Mariachi music, a full dinner menu, and, most importantly, adults. — Jay Barmann
2200 Market Street at Sanchez/15th

Cantina
Not necessarily in the mood for margaritas and all that lime-y acid reflux? Up at Cantina, near Union Square, they'll be doing a drink special as part of their annual Cinco celebration that involves pisco and grapefruit instead. Ok, there's lime and tequila in it too. But it's called the Mixed Blessing, and it's Tapatio Blanco Tequila, Campo de Encanto Pisco, grapefruit liqueur, lime, and a nip of salted honey. The party starts at 5 p.m., and they'll be serving their famed Five-Spice Margaritas by the pitcher, too, as well as pupusas by D'Maize, and there'll be Latin tunes spinning from Big Bad Bruce. — Jay Barmann
580 Sutter Street near Mason

Taco Take-Down
Nearby, at the Clift Hotel, things could turn out to be a shitshow-y scene, but at least there will be a fair amount of food to soak up some of that tequila — and this event might not be on everyone's radar. But for the price of one cocktail, between 5:30 and 8:30 p.m. (or, presumably, until supplies run out), you'll get tickets to try five different tacos from five chefs who will be competing for the honor of Taco Takedown King or Queen. It's a pretty cheap dinner if it manages to fill you up — and if not, you can head down to SoMa to the new El Capitan for their fry-bread tacos and roast suckling pig, for which reservations are probably a good idea. — Jay Barmann
Clift Hotel, 495 Geary Street at Taylor; El Capitan, 1123 Folsom Street near 8th

ALSO: Don't Drive Drunk, Dummy
Of course, you're going to take Muni, a cab, or Lyft to whatever you're doing tonight, but other folks might not be as smart as you are. That's why AAA is offering their Tipsy Tow service from 6 p.m. tonight to 6 a.m. tomorrow, towing your vehicle (and toting you) to a residence (not a bar) within 10 miles of pickup. Just call 1-800-222-4357 to request the service. Berg Injury Lawyers will also be offering their traditional free cab ride home, with SF residents calling Luxor Cab (you can't hail a cab from the street) at 415-282-4141 between 10 p.m. and 4 a.m. for a ride of up to $35 home from your revels, just make sure to "tell them the ride is on Berg Injury Lawyers," a Berg spokesperson says.

If that sounds like too much of a hassle and you'd rather take your chances behind the wheel, you should know that SFPD's Traffic Unit is conducting "saturation patrols" from 8 p.m. to 3 a.m., with officers pulling over drivers and checking to make sure they're licensed and for any "signs of alcohol and/or drug impairment," spokesperson Officer Albie Esparza says. "With the increased use of ride share programs, public transport or a designated driver, there’s no excuse for drunk driving,” Esparza scolds. When even the cops are suggesting you use Uber, you know they're not screwing around tonight. -- Eve Batey

Previously: The 10 Best Margaritas In The Bay Area

http://somastreatfoodpark.com/