Let me begin by saying that I am in no way making light of what might be an attempted child abduction. because crimes against children are, I think we all agree, utterly despicable. But I'd like to think that the San Francisco Police Department might be helped if I point out what they cannot — that a suspect they're seeking in a recent attempted child abduction bears a remarkable resemblance to the actor Christian Slater.

According to SFPD spokesperson Officer Grace Gatpandan, last Friday at around 5 p.m., the driver of a 4-door, "shiny black Toyota Yaris or Honda Fit type of vehicle" pulled up to a 10-year-old who was sitting, alone, in the Muni shelter at the northeast corner of Carl Street and Cole Street in Cole Valley

The driver, who Gatpandan says was alone in the car, drove up to the bus stop, and "attempted to verbally coax the student into the vehicle four times."

The driver was so persistent, in fact, that the kid fled "to a nearby restaurant to get away from the person."

The coaxer is described by Gatpandan as a white male aged 30 to 40, with black slicked-back hair, medium height and weight, with 3-4 day facial hair growth. He spoke without an accent, Gatpandan says, meaning that he sounded like an American, native English speaker. He was also wearing a black or brown 3/4 sleeved shirt when he menaced the child, Gatpandan says.

As you can see from the police sketch of the suspect above (center), the suspect also appears to bear a startling resemblance to actor Christian Slater (right), a resemblance made even more apparent when you look at Slater as drawn by the artists behind the animated spy series Archer (left). Look at the eyebrows, especially. It's uncanny, isn't it?

As you can imagine, SFPD investigators say that they would like to identify and interview the driver. Do you recognize him? (The suspect, not Slater.) If you do, or if you have any information on this or any similar situations like this one, please contact Sergeant Terry with SFPD"s Park Station at (415) 242-3088. You can also call the anonymous tip line at 415-575-4444 or can text-a-tip to TIP411 with SFPD in the subject line.