The Oakland Mayor's race has, historically, been a bit of a circus. Back in July we noted the 21-candidate race included a dog named Einstein who was being put forward by the Occupy folks. And back in 2010 when Mayor Jean Quan got elected after some ranked-choice voting craziness, she had originally been running against 12 other people. This year, the race has been whittled to 15 people including Quan, the incumbent; councilmember Rebecca Kaplan, whose popularity among young voters and third-place finish in 2010 helped Quan win because of her ranked-choice endorsement; councilmember Libby Schaaf who has been equally strong in fundraising; local contractor and tequila fan Ken Houston, who was recently profiled in SF Mag; and our favorite of the bunch, purely for his honesty and his prose talents, Peter Liu.

Liu is a 33-year-old Iraq War veteran and self-made multi-millionaire (according to him) who is definitely not a fan of political — or politically correct — speech. He believes in business, and entrepreneurship, and as he explained to Oakland North back in May, that's why he doesn't believe in raising the minimum wage. "I do not want Oaklanders to aspire to minimum wage. I want them to be a new class of entrepreneurs. No matter, if you are homeless, poor or rich, uneducated or Ph.D., you can start a business if you love what you are doing." He says he wants Oakland to become an economic powerhouse to rival Hong Kong.

OK! Liu also believes that all the "good men" in Oakland should be armed with concealed weapons and should become part of militias under his Community Empowered Safety Plan. He also thinks that San Francisco is a "dirty city" and that homosexuality is a grave and deadly sin — as he said in an email to Zennie Abraham — and he says he "enjoys being offensive" and "war changed me, man."

Do we endorse Liu or agree with his views? Of course not. SFist does not endorse candidates. We do, however, enjoy many of his answers to the ongoing series of questions that have been posed by moderators via email to all 15 candidates, all of which you can see here.

Asked about his relationship with the City Council and how he would interact with them as Mayor:

To achieve my goals, if any councilmember obstructs me in any way that is unreasonable, I’ll intellectually bitch slap them until they go home crying.

Asked what his first priorities would be as Mayor, he talks about funding surveillance cameras in high-crime neighborhoods by selling conceal-carry permits to other citizens. And he talks about the militias, which would prepare Oakland for an all-out terrorist invasion.

If a dozen armed terrorists with AK47s start mass killings, residents will be have the preparations in place to deal with it real time. Don’t flee to the mountain like pussies, use your 2nd Amendment rights.

Asked if he'd be able to handle the oversight of Oakland's $1 billion budget:

I can count from 1 to 10 with my fingers so a 10 digit number is no problem for me. I am the world’s smartest leader, give me a trillion dollar budget and I’ll do it like Picasso.

Asked about his solution for Oakland's housing shortage and the growing population:

What is the fastest way to build Oakland housing that is cheap, environmentally safe, fire-proof, affordable, earthquake resistant, withstand any natural storms and bullets fired from an AK47? Earth Adobe, dome shaped houses made of soil straight from the land it is built upon, by far the cheapest and strongest material for housing.

And one of his most passionate responses came just last week, when asked, "What would you do as mayor to improve pedestrian/bicyclist safety and infrastructure and to promote alternative forms of transportation in the City of Oakland?" But here's where we start to wonder if maybe he's just given up on being a serious candidate and is just screwing with us:

These bicyclists need to learn what the fuck is a red light. If it is red, you suppose to STOP. I’ve seen their asses numerous times ride through the red like they’re Rambo. Total fucking idiots. At one time I felt like running their ass over with my Toyota, but this is not San Francisco and I am too cool for that.

An alternative form of transportation I support is horses. I am an animal lover and those ponies are cute. With my trusty horse sidekick, HORSEY, I’ll ride like a western cowboy slinging revolvers and my horse shit all over Oakland grass patches as natural fertilizer for the trees and flowers. I am an environmentalist too. Now you may think horses are kinda old fashion, not up in the Oakland hills, those people call themselves equestrians with stables the size of a three-car garage. We all need to learn to ride horses so we can stop paying outrageous gas prices.

Another reason why horses are better than bikes is no one today is crazy enough to want to steal a horse, they may get a hind leg kick to the face then it is game over. You’ve seen how easy it is to steal a car in Grand Theft Auto and Gone in 60 Seconds. You try that with a horse, it might bite your head off. MEEEeeeeehh.

Having more horses means it’ll create more businesses in Oakland, such as horse shoe making, romantic horse carriage rides around Lake Merritt, urban stables, pony salons, most beautiful horse show and urban street horse races. I rather watch an illegal gambling of home-grown horses racing through the streets than lame pro sports. Really.

Just imagine yourself riding a horse, running pass an obnoxious Segway scooter ride, you can literally trample on his ass and bounce at the same time. I like that feeling. We must get more horses. Vote Liu.

Here's his Chronicle-made campaign video.

[Peter Liu/Oakland Mayor 2014]