If you don't subscribe to the SFPD Park Station newsletter, you probably should. Phrases like "loathsome louse" and terms like "flower child" and "nincompoop" are de rigeur, and what officers have to deal with in and around the Upper Haight, is, obviously, pretty funny sometimes. Take, for example, a couple of recent updates from 4/20 weekend.

2:25 PM Haight & Stanyan Obstructing Street, Emergency Vehicle Sgt. Castillo and Officer Enea were awaiting medical assistance for a 16-year-old female who was intoxicated and semi-conscious when they observed a buffoon in the middle of the street, blocking a fire engine. The fire engine had red lights and siren on, as it was rushing to provide medical care for the teenager. While deliberately preventing the fire truck’s passage, the loathsome louse was waving an upraised middle finger at the valiant fire fighters. Sgt. Castillo & Officer Enea promptly relocated the noisome nincompoop from City streets to the hospitality of Park Station’s holding cell.

5:00 PM Stanyan & Waller Publicly Pickled Pothead
Officer Friedman encountered a hammered, hysterically sobbing flower child, looped to the point that he was unable to care for his own safety.

And it goes on from there. The officer in charge of writing these things clearly has a gift. But obviously not a lot of coverage is given to all the marijuana buy-busts they still do up in the Haight, because that just makes for boring storytelling.