This week we sat down with one of the city's most iconic cookies, the Hot Cookie penis macaroon, to learn more about macaroon envy, creative aspirations, and what's on the inside.

SFist: ...
Penis Macaroon: It's okay to stare.

SFist: You're just sooo ...
Penis Macaroon: Big? Dark? Hard? Are you distracted by my shaved coconuts?

SFist: Yes, yes, yes and yes. Forgive me for asking, but how do you stay so ... erect?
Penis Macaroon: Some cookies are soft and chewy and that's no reflection of their quality or anything. But in my business there's no day off. You can't go flaccid. People expect a certain level of performance and after a long, hard day, you're still expected to be, well, long and hard [chuckles bashfully]. And yes, I am all natural. It's just a question of mental focus.

SFist: Is it the size of the macaroon that counts, or how you use it?
Penis Macaroon: Look, I'm going to be honest. For me, it's 30% the size, 70% the gooey coconut macaroon covered in delicious dark chocolate. Some cookies who are on the smaller side can get really intimidated by me and kind of standoffish, but I try to tell them that, you know, I'm a cookie too! I have feelings! It's not all about what's on the outside. But size does help in certain situations.

SFist: Do you feel like all people see is that you're shaped like a penis?
Penis Macaroon: Yeah, sometimes I feel like people don't care about what's on the inside. I've got ideas, I've got hopes and dreams, and I have things to say. I've been taken advantage of in the past and gotten hurt by people who just wanted to see me as a big chocolate penis. That's partly why I agreed to do this interview. Because there's a lot more to me than that.

SFist: Like what?
Penis Macaroon: Well, I'm an aspiring actor/screenwriter. I'm working on a screenplay right now and I'm trying to get my acting career off the ground. There's a surprising amount of roles that I'm perfect for, it's just a matter of getting my tip in the door.

SFist: Who would play you in a movie about your life?
Penis Macaroon: Idris Elba. I love him in Luther.

SFist: How does it feel to be the representative cookie of the Castro?
Penis Macaroon: It feels great. I'm not the only penis you see walking around here, which is nice. I feel like everyone accepts me for who I am. No one is asking me to "put it back in my pants", for example. No one is covering their kids' eyes when they walk by. I feel totally supported by the community and that's really all I can ask for.

SFist: Keep it up!
Macaroon: Hah! I've only heard that one, like, a thousand times.

$6 at Hot Cookie
407 Castro St, S. F., 94114