... and all we got was this limp pub-crawl roundup.

Yes, we like getting national kudos as "one of this country's great bar cities", and the gorgeous put-it-in-my-mouth photo sets the piece up for success. But we can't help but be a little disappointed by the cursory treatment of our fair city's ample drinking options. For starters, when we hear "20 bars in four days", we're looking forward to some juicy details. But author Rosie Schaap sounds like the least debauched binge drinker to ever grace our fair city.

She visits old North Beach standbys Vesuvio and Tosca, listens to stories about William S. Burroughs and Jerry Garcia, then checks out cocktails at Comstock Saloon, The Alembic, and Big. Also on her best-of shortlist are Aub Zam Zam, Rite Spot Cafe, Specs and Edinburgh Castle.

The author seems to be searching for an old-timey drinking landscape to contrast with the start-ups and yuppies of today's modern times. She concludes:

San Francisco may be flush with locavores and dot-commers, but I was reminded that it's still deeply rooted in its strange gritty, boozy history.

To which we say: sit down, stay awhile, and we'll show you strange and boozy.