By Daisy Barringer

It's been an emotional two weeks. A lot of crying. Like, a lot of crying. I cried watching 49ers’ videos. I cried reading 49ers’ stories. I cried just thinking about the 49ers. I cried during therapy. (Wait, that's normal.) Seriously though. Just about any mention of the Niners and I was like a PMSing sixteen year old who’s never been kissed.

Right after the Niners came back to beat Atlanta, I was so excited that I swore no matter what I was going to the Super Bowl. But then reality set in. Airfare, hotel, not to mention actual tickets to the game. I had a choice: pay my rent or fly to New Orleans. Practicality set in…

But that doesn’t mean I’m not excited for the game. I mean, THIS IS IT. Everything I live for. Or, as I told my therapist when I left yesterday: “If the Niners don’t win on Sunday, it’s going to be the most miserable fifty minutes of your life next week.” He laughed; I didn't.

It’s been a weird week in San Francisco. Walking around, I’ve hardly seen anyone sporting red and gold. Perhaps they all flew to Louisiana? Or perhaps the 49ers just aren’t as popular as the Giants. Baseball is more accessible, after all. “Family friendly” or whatever. But those people don’t matter because if you’re reading this, it can only mean one thing: You’re stoked for Sunday and you’re rooting for the Niners to win. (Seriously, if you’re rooting for the Ravens, just stop now. No one likes you here.)

So, in the usual fashion, let’s take a look at the factors that will determine whether or not the San Francisco 49ers are the next Champions of the World. Or, you know, of the NFL. (World!)

The Good

  • This 49ers team is young and they’re hungry. They tasted this last year only to have it viscously ripped away because of a few fumbles. They’re focused, they’re determined, and they’re fast. And they have all of the talent necessary to make it happen.
  • Conversely, the Ravens are old. Fact. They’re older and they’re slower.
  • Yes, the Ravens have a stellar defense with several potential Hall of Famers, but um, guess what? We have six Prow Bowl players and we’re helluv younger. It’ll show on Sunday.
  • The Pistol. Listen, I’m all for better gun control as long as no one takes away The Pistol from the Niners. (Sorry, that was terrible. I can’t help it; I’m giddy.) I know the Ravens are going to be prepared for it, but WILL THEY BE? WILL THEY BE? Truthfully, how prepared can one be for The Pistol when the defense can’t really tell what’s going on when it’s happening? Or as Trent Dilfer said, “This Pistol offense [...;] creates a tremendous tactical advantage for the 49ers. Because of that, Joe (Flacco’s) going to be playing against AP calculus and Colin’s going to be playing against pre-Algebra.”
  • Nate Silver said we’d win. Clearly the guy isn’t always right since two weeks ago he said we wouldn’t even BE in the Super Bowl, but I mean, he did correctly predict the winner of all 50 states in the 2012 presidential election, so I think the guy knows what he’s doing. (I HOPE HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING.)
  • The Niners are the “home team.” Usually this wouldn’t mean anything other than the fact that the Niners get to pick which color jerseys they’ll wear (red), but I have to think that the Superdome is going to be filled with Niners Faithful wearing red and gold and making noise when the Ravens are on offense. The 49ers have simply been around for longer (1946 versus 1996) and therefore have had more time to build a bigger fan base. Also, who in his right mind is rooting for a team with Ray Lewis? Gross.
  • Ray Lewis is basically a murderer (or at least an accomplice) and murderers don’t win the Super Bowl twice because THAT’S NOT FAIR. Also, he may have used a banned substance called deer antler spray which, I guess, contains ACTUAL deer antler (???) so yeah. Gross. Plus, ugh, if I have to see that guy cry one more time… (And yes, I know that’s hypocritical of me, but again: I’m a girl who still plays with stuffed animals and he’s a FOOTBALL player.)
  • We’re the San Francisco 49ers!


The Bad

  • The Ravens are tough. We play smash mouth football, but so do they. They’re just as fired up as we are…
  • Randy Moss shooting off his mouth is not the type of distraction the 49ers needed. I debated even mentioning this because part of me believes that Randy Moss really needs to believe he is the best wide receiver ever to play his best game. He’s not (see: Jerry Rice) and he shouldn’t have said it, especially after doing such a good job of keeping his mouth shut all season, but I just hope he doesn’t put so much pressure on himself to prove he’s “right” (impossible, since he’s WRONG) that he drops balls or makes stupid plays.
  • Chris Culliver. Listen, I know what the guy said was horrible and wrong. I’m not here to debate that. I’m here to talk football, so at this point, I just hope that he learned something from it, that he’ll grow from it, and that it doesn’t distract him during the game.
  • Ray Lewis is healthy. And he’s fired up. And, hey, did you hear? The Super Bowl will be Ray Lewis’ last game ever. I know! Someone should have said something! Listen, I don’t give a crap if the big crybaby is retiring. I care that he’s back and that the Ravens are a lot better at stopping the run when he’s on the field. Also: I HATE HIM.
  • Joe Flacco. I mean, whatever. Fucking Flacco (sorry). Is the guy an “elite quarterback?” I don’t really care. What I do care about is that he’s thrown 8 touchdowns and 0 interceptions in the postseason. The guy’s coming into his own. In fact, I think he’s come into his own. So, yeah. Annoying.
  • David Akers. Do I have to say anything else? He’s basically everyone’s biggest concern/nightmare and he’s definitely mine. This game is going to be close. Like probably FIELD GOAL close. Guess who kicks our field goals? That’s right: Akers. And by “kicks,” I mean “misses” and I just slammed my head on wood in order to not jinx us and ow. The game could come down to Akers. I hope it doesn’t. For everyone’s sake, including his.


The Rest of It

  • You may have noticed I haven’t said anything about Colin Kaepernick. That’s not because I don’t love the guy and think he’s an amazing quarterback. He is. He’s young. He’s athletic. He’s quick on his feet. And he can fire the ball so hard and accurately while under pressure that it will dislocate a wide receiver’s finger. I'm elated Kaepernick is starting for the Niners. Do I still feel bad for Alex Smith? Yes. I will always feel bad for Alex Smith. Getting benched after his concussion was cutthroat and I’m a girl who cries when she watches SportsCenter, so clearly I didn’t handle it well. (Shout out right now to Alex who has handled himself with so much class. What a good guy to have on your side.) ANYWAY… Kaepernick. He’s amazing. Yes. He definitely has what it takes to win this game for us. BUT. We have no idea what’s going to happen when he takes the field. The kid has “mental toughness” for sure. He’s confident. He brushed that pick-six during the Green Bay game off like it was no big deal. BUT. We just don’t know. He could choke.That being said: I believe (and hope) that he comes out and plays the way he has been playing. Whether he passes or runs or does a happy combination of both, as long as he makes plays and doesn’t turn the ball over, I’ll be a happy girl. (Also, it's worth pointing out that the Ravens lost both times when facing similar quarterbacks this year).

  • There are only three people TOTAL on either team who have a Super Bowl ring. How crazy is that? It means we have some boys who are gonna come hungry and ready to destroy whatever gets in their way. (My favorite kind of football, for the record.)


  • THIS JUST IN! The head coach of the Ravens and the head coach of the 49ers are… you’re never going to believe this… BROTHERS. How will this affect the game? How long will their “handshake” last for? What will their parents be wearing? Will the fact that one is older than the other make a difference? So many storylines! None of which the Harbaugh brothers give a crap about. The most interesting tidbit to come out this week, I thought? Jim Harbaugh’s son works for the Ravens. Or at least he’s an intern. Yay working for free for school credit!

  • BREAKING NEWS! Ray Lewis’ first-ever sack? JIM HARBAUGH. I know. I know! You’re shocked. No one told you! But you know what? The Colts won that day, so suck it Ray Lewis. Suck it.

  • The 49ers have been in five Super Bowls. And they’ve won… Oh. Nevermind. I promised my friend I wouldn’t jinx it.

And Finally...

Okay. I’ll confess. While you’re reading this, I’m on a plane heading to New Orleans. I totally spazzed out yesterday and bought a last-minute ticket. I have to be there. I just do. The Niners need me. And I need them.

I don’t have a ticket to the game. But I have faith I’ll figure it out. After all, this is the San Francisco 49ers, the reason I have emotions, in the biggest game of the year. This is the Niners in the Super Bowl. I sort of HAVE to be there, don’t you think?

Sunday will be the biggest day in my life as a Niners’ fan. Most of you don’t know, but I came to football late. I watched the last Super Bowl against the Chargers, but I didn’t feel it in my bones. Things are different now. For me. And for anyone who has found the 49ers in the last 18 years.

I don’t want to stop writing this column because when I do, it means there’s only one column left this season. And it will either be the happiest thing I’ve ever written. Or the saddest. I believe it will be the former, but “on any given Sunday.” Nonetheless, someone told me that people stop reading at 2000 words and I’m getting dangerously close, so let me just say this:

I love the 49ers. I believe in the 49ers. I know we have every tool we need to win the Super Bowl. So let’s go out there and kick some Ravens’ ass. And let’s make it hurt.

WHO’S GOT IT BETTER THAN US?

Watch San Francisco vs. Baltimore in Super Bowl XLVII on CBS at 3:30 PM PST.