Despite being named 2011's Neighborhood of the Year, the Lower Haight has been coping with a spate of robberies, break-ins and phonejackings over the past few months. Finally, someone in the neighborhood has put out the call for their very own Bruce Wayne.
A Craigslist "Creative Gigs" section job post, sent to us by a Lower Haight business owner, dramatically lays out the backstory in the neighborhood:
The scum of the city has been praying [sic] on the citizens of of our fine neighborhood. This filth has been breaking into the homes of our residents. They sit and wait in the shadows, searching for a victim to mug. In broad daylight they're robbing folks young and old. The police can only do so much. The residence [sic] continue to cry out for a hero.
To qualify for the position, the Craigslist poster is looking for someone who enjoys "prowling city streets for common thugs," preferably with some Judo or Krav Maga training. Added bonuses if you got super powers from exposure to "radiation, gamma rays, or high fructose corn syrup" or if you tragically witnessed your parents murdered in front of your very eyes. Having a large fortune to invest in crime-fighting gadgetry wouldn't hurt either.
To apply, the post says potential masked crimefighters should simply stop some neighborhood crime in progress, provide proof along with a preferred superhero alias and
Commissioner Gordon the Lower Haight Council of Vigilance will review their technique and decide if you're a good fit.
Potential crimefighters may want to be, er, vigilant in their applications though. In Seattle, a masked do-gooder who went by the name of Phoenix Jones made headlines when he was accused of committing assault. This isn't the first mention of locally sourced superheroes in San Francisco either: last year the Bold Italic went on a ride-along with Real Life Superhero Motor Mouth while he and his sidekicks protected drunk people from eating too many crepes outside of DNA Lounge on a Saturday night.
Previously: Otherwise Reasonable San Franciscans Dress Up as Superheroes to Fight Crime
Thanks for the tip, Devon.