Ontario-based rap-rocker Grant MacDonald — whose music comes recommended if you like Eminem, Lil Wayne, and, oddly enough, Kenny Chesney — has plopped out a new album dedicated to San Francisco's erstwhile Mayor and his pals in the Getty family. Or perhaps more correctly: MacDonald has packaged an anti-Getty conspiracy theory in a format best known for expressing teen angst in the early '00s.
The lyrics from the title track to MacDonald's latest oeuvre, "Suck This Cock Gavin," [embedded below] are about as NSFW as you might predict. Luckily, they are transcribed for us on MacDonald's CDBaby page where you can also preview and purchase an entire compact disc worth of this sort of material. To wit:
Spread those buttcheeks wide - this big hard cock inside ya it will slide! Fucking ya deep Gavin fuckin ya deep big hard cock in ya fuckin ya deep! On ya knees Gavin Newsom drink this cum ! The Gettys owe me a tidy sum! On ya knees Gavin n drink this cum!
From what we can tell of the 30-second previews, the rest of the album seems to be an indictment of the Getty family for stealing World War II masterpieces and "supporting Adolf Hitler's oil supply", which is as good a conspiracy theory as any, we guess. MacDonald himself released an entire 45-minute documentary cleverly titled "Gettymovie" back in 2008, detailing Getty patriarch J.P. Getty's involvement with the Führer. Surprisingly, and sadly, we can't find any mentions of forbidden love between Getty and Hitler.
In addition to being an accomplished documentarian, the prolific MacDonald also runs the sketchy and almost certainly fake international investment banking firm MacDonald Bank, which is "presently advising on $400,000,000,000" in mergers and acquisitions (no, it's not) and suing the entire Getty family on behalf of the victims of World War II (also doubtful).
Anyhow, when he's not bringing litigation against the entire Getty clan or chasing after Gavin's b-hole in protest songs, MacDonald is an incredibly prolific sex rapper. His non-Gavin discography toes the line between gangster rap, gay cowboy fan-fiction, and terrible taste with works like "Lonesome Boy In Tennesee," "Speedo Suckboy," "Ram Ranch," and the two-part ode to life on the range: "Hard Cowboy Cock" and "Big Hard Cowboy Cock."
And now, "Suck This Cock Gavin" in its entirety: