While the pundits, legal analysts, and holders of J.D.s pore over the 128 pages of text in the Ninth Circuit Court's decision this morning, we bring you our very favorite arguments for ruling Prop 8. unconstitutional. Presented by the Judges of the Ninth Circuit, in their own pop-culture referencing words:

Had Marilyn Monroe's film been called How to Register a Domestic Partnership with a Millionaire, it would not have conveyed the same meaning as did her famous movie, even though the underlying drama for same-sex couples is no different.

Also in the text: Groucho Marx jokes, Frank Sinatra quotes and lines of Shakespeare. Observe:

Groucho Marx’s one-liner, "Marriage is a wonderful institution … but who wants to live in an institution?" would lack its punch if the word "marriage" were replaced with the alternative phrase. So too with Shakespeare’s "A young man married is a man that’s marr’d." Lincoln’s "Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory," and Sinatra’s "A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late."

And just in case the straights still aren't picking up what the Ninth Circuit Judges were throwing down this morning, they also invoked the classic proposal-via-jumbotron move:

We are excited to see someone ask, "Will you marry me?", whether on bended knee in a restaurant or in text splashed across a stadium Jumbotron. Certainly it would not have the same effect to see, "Will you enter into a registered domestic partnership with me?".

Wonderful, you tell 'em, Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.

Hat tip: Andrew Dudley/Haighteration for the Monroe spotting.