Would you like to experience a bit of pop cultural history so fleeting, confusing, and mildly gross that you'll walk out of the auditorium unsure what year it is or if you're really awake? Then please, by all means, grab yourself a ticket for "Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth." The gaunt, gray-faced, and manic actor will bless S.F. with his truth on April 30th at Masonic Auditorium, and tickets go on sale tomorrow morning.

Sadly, we believe this will sell out fast. And we have no idea what he's going to say for 90 minutes or whatever, or how this isn't going to feel like getting trapped in a too-long conversation at your dealer's house. But we're looking forward to seeing if Charlie actually makes it (as in staying alive and out of court-ordered rehab) through the end of April.

In other news, somebody's done some street art with Charlie astride a white tiger:

Isn't it called "riding the white horse"? Cocaine we mean?