This week we picked up two actual paper copies of the local alt-weeklies. They were perused over a cup of coffee. (The East Bay Express was not available at the liquor store near the SFist Western Branch Office, but their online edition makes this papery noise when you click to turn the page, so it's more or less accurate, from a user experience perspective.) Here's what you'll find this week:

SFWeekly: Joe Eskenazi's cover story "The Art of the Steal" peers in to the mind of Terry Helbling the art thief who decorated his Tenderloin SRO with stolen artwork taken from local museums. Filling the five broadsheet pages are descriptions of Helbling's tiny room (decorated "in the salon style") and even his homemade lighting system he modeled after ones he saw at the Legion of Honor and the de Young museums (which he is now unfortunately banned from). We don't want to spoil the ending, but it sounds like Helbling is done with art for awhile.

Food: Kauffman checks out Elizabeth Falkner's re-opened Citizen Cake. Now located in Pac Heights, the savory dishes don't seem to do it for Kauffman, but he lets himself indulge in more than a few of her signature desserts. Regarding the decor, Kauffman decides it's intentionally plain in order to not distract from the dessert case - either that or to show off "the couture the restaurant's straight-backed, $200-haircut clientele is wearing."