Tamara Barak Aparton, our favorite civil servant scribe, cut another shiny gem for us today. See, after a three-day trial, 33-year-old Jose Sanchez, accused of hitting a Mission District pedestrian with his minivan while she raced home to watch deplorable ABC drama Grey’s Anatomy was acquitted Monday afternoon of hit-and-run.

The woman, it seems, was a liar.

"The 33-year-old San Francisco woman testified that on May 6, 2010, she hurried across Capp Street at 24th Street on her way home to watch the popular medical drama when Sanchez failed to yield on a right turn, scraping her left arm," reports Aparton. "Though she presented no medical records to substantiate her claims, the woman told investigators that the accident left her unable to lift things or play a particular piano piece without taking Vicodin."

Not able to play a concerto without the aide of opiates. Who of us hasn't used that excuse for a refill? Shamless.

Aparton goes on to note that, "Sanchez, who has no criminal record, testified he was unaware of the pedestrian until she began hitting his car, cursing and calling him a Mexican while extending her middle finger. Alarmed by the behavior, the San Francisco father drove away in his minivan. His car was not damaged."