Perusing the most recent Bigelow Report, our favorite source for Parties To Which We Were Not Invited, we were stopped dead (heh, you'll see why that's funny in a second) at this picture, purportedly of "Lora O'Connor, Dr. Dean Ornish and his wife, Anne Ornish."

Wait. Dr. Dean Ornish? Two things:

What the hell happened? Are you seriously telling us that all this time we've been all low-fat vegetarian dieting while he's been...well, who knows? We're not going to make fun of a guy for gaining weight (do you see Brock's name at the bottom of this post? No.), we're just going to tell him to kiss off if he bitches at us for same. OK? OK.

But, and we are not even kidding when we say this, when we looked at this photo we seriously thought it was of the late, great Vincent Schiavelli. Come on, you know who we're talking about. Jenny's uncle on "Buffy"? That crazy ghost on the subway in, uh, ? Mr. Vargas from Fast Times? We're stopping there before we start sounding too old.

Casting Mr. Schiavelli play a man who fakes his own death, only to take the place of his long-lost, rapidly aging, cult-leader/diet guru brother (also played in flashbacks by Schiavelli in a ton of contour powder) is a De Palmaesque cliche, we know. But we'd still love to see it happen. A blog can dream, can't it?

Ghost