The last time we saw Sandra Bernhard, which was at Bimbo's earlier this year, we almost walked into her as we were leaving the ladies room and she was making her entrance from the back of the theater, crooning "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." After a stagehand or security guy or au pair grabbed and shook the holy hell out of us, preventing us from colliding with Ms. Sandra, we went back to our seat, shamefaced. Naturally, out of fear, we can never ever see her again. Ever. But you sure can. In fact, you can catch her during her annual New Year's Eve stint here in glorious San Francisco.

Who is she, you ask? Well, she was in The King of Comedy playing the best stalker in the world, ever. She understands Liza Minnelli. She was Nancy (the dyke) on Roseanne. The archnemisis of the vile Elizabeth Hasselbeck. She can wear pretty much anything. She possesses a voice that will blow you to the back wall of the theater, comedic stylings that will have you wetting your G-Stars, and blunt insight that will have you scratching your well-exfoliated chins.

Event: Sandra Bernhard's New Year’s Eve Extravaganza
When: New Year's Eve, of course
Where: Castro Theatre
Time: 11 p.m.
Cost: $35-$100