We'll do the partying and/or dying, so you don't have to.

Homebound denizens of San Francisco, the Bay Area, and the world at large. Our editor, Brock, will be coming at you live from the Castro all night. We'll bring you live reportage of the costumes, "unsanctioned gaiety," Dachau-like police state, public urination, and/or absolutely nothing happening at all whatsoever. Stay tuned.

10:45 Update: That's it. We're done here, folks. If there's a shooting or a Cher spotting, you'll have to read about it tomorrow. The Castro's lukewarm vibe has worn thin. Now we're off to Polk Street for some action! No, not really. We're actually heading to the St. Regis for Bloody Marys. Jealous? Don't be.

Thanks for reading! Now go to bed.

10:35 Update: Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick Girl has and will forever be a cool costume.

10:30 Update: There's some sort of commotion going on at the Castro MUNI station. Looks like some sort of dance off.

Also, Hot Cookie is open and crowd-free. Wish they had a Jell-o shot to spare. Alas.

10:25 Update: Did we mention that it's a bit of a police state at Castro and Market? Because it is. Our Orange County senses are tingling. Hard.

10:20 Update: No booze to be sipped, as of now. Starting to get the shakes. God help us.

Jump to the past, if you dare. Mwah ha ha!