How DARE you suggest that independent movies are pretentious, self-satisfied, masturbatory, and heavy-handed? What an accusation. Just glance at the SF Indie Fest's puke-green website, which just struggled to life a few days ago; here's a few of our favorite excerpts from the films' descriptions.

... a gritty cinema-verite-style drama that journeys headlong into San Francisco's dark underbelly.

... This verité documentary shows a day in the life ...

... a broad stylistic palette, including cinema-verité documentary footage ... fascinating and truthful hybrid.

... a calm and moving cinema-verite documentary about moving past anger and revenge.

... powerful without being preachy ... shot in the classic Verite style where the crew is invisible and the characters in this real-life tragedy speak on their own, and in their own way.

... My goal was to create a film that feels like real life.

... Dante's Inferno has been around for 700 years, but it's never been interpreted with exquisitely hand-drawn paper puppets in a kind of apocalyptic graphic novel meets Victorian-era toy theater—until now.

After the jump: further excesses!

outrrrrrrageous