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Dude With Huge Sunglasses: "Hey Marty."
Marty: "Oh! Hey! I didn't recognize you because you're disguised as an Italian."
-- North Beach

Mom, trying to console crying toddler: "Look, honey, there's Walmart!"
(Child cries louder)
Dad: "Shh, I know, baby, I'm scared of them, too."
--- From David/Air BART

Dude: "Communism just means free health care and free education. But isn't it disgusting how Chinese people just buy their produce from stalls that are just out in the open air?"
-- From Andrew/On the 43

Supermarket clerk: "Only God can make a tomato."
-- Cala Bell in the Tenderloin