Picture this story with the Drudge Report flashing lights, but we have an exclusive, late-breaking and developing story from The Weekly World News: ALIENS ARE COMING TO SAN FRANCISCO! We repeat, ALIENS ARE COMING TO SAN FRANCISCO!

According to the story (which is so hot that it's not linked to, and the fact that the Weekly World News doesn't put their stories online is criminal), the aliens in question are from Mercury and are said to be "short" and "red-skinned." Last week, the state legislature and the Governor voted to give a square mile in between Chinatown and Nob Hill (there goes the strip clubs) to the aliens from Mercury, or as they're known: Mercurians. With the land given to them, the Mercurians will build housing for themselves "made of solidified liquid mercury and powered by solar panels," something that will make the Mayor happy because it's in keeping with his big Green Initiative.

What’s in it for us? According to the story, Little Mercury will feature two of San Francisco's favorite things: funky clothing stores and ethnic food. Mercurian spokesalien SeptorotpeS says that due to the climate of Mercury, they have to wear different kind of clothes and the Mercurians are looking forward to selling them. They will also offer their solar technology to the White House so the world will no longer have to rely on oil. The story, however, goes on to say that the President said only that he'll "think about it." Good luck with that, our little Mercurian friends.

The story still leaves several unanswered questions. Obviously, the first question is why San Francisco, but that's a fairly obvious answer. Our sources actually tell us that the Mercurians wanted to come to San Francisco for the burritos. Still, there's nothing in there about how a development could be built so quickly without protests from neighbors, anti-development groups, and anti-gentrification groups. After all, the only Mercurians who could afford to move here from Mercury are probably a bit on the rich side. And just where are they going to park all of their Mercurian space ships? Have you ever tried to park in that neighborhood?

Anyways, on behalf of San Franciscans everywhere, SFist would like to say: Welcome Mercurians!