We're not making this up. Any of it.
In the last week I have gone on two dates with a Canadian book artist whose DNA is 100% Frisian, i.e. parents from Friesland, which quite frankly I've never even heard of before. Apparently those Frieslanders are so fricking white Hitler did some kind of horrible research on them. Anyway, I'd hate to think that some last minute romance with a member of an obscure Germanic tribe would keep me from moving back to dear dirty Oakland. Please advise....
Miss Jean Brodie
Firstly, Miss Lonelyhearts, Canada, DNA, Friesland, Hitler, Oakland, and Jean Brodie. All clear?
Now, our advice: dump him. Come on home and make sure you've got unlimited long distance minutes on that little phone of yours. Or a man closer to home. No man is worth another month in Appleton. Even if he's Canadian. Or even an artist. And c'mon, you just bought a freaking house in Oakland. Stop hatin', fer cryin' out loud.Dear Ms. Lonelyhearts, oops I mean Essefficist,