“Stop wearing vests, you look like a Republican” warns a series of new flyers being spotted about town, and the flyers also have some choice words for the Marina.

We love a good rambling and incomprehensible flyer here at SFist, as long as the flyer is not racist, anti-semitic, or secretly some goddamned corporate brand campaign. So we are generally pleased to see any kind of throwback to the good old days flyers like "No Tech Zone," "Leave the Mission," "Move Back to NYC," and "MASONIC is as safe as a kittens belly fur!" Someone in San Francisco is Xeroxing in the footsteps of that bygone early 2010s flyer zeitgeist, even in the year 2022, as Broke-Ass Stuart’s Instagram breaks the story of “Stop wearing vests” flyers popping up on the city's light poles.

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A post shared by Broke-Ass Stuart (@brokeassstuart)

As seen above, the flyer has crossout, anti- symbols over images of vests, a map of the Marina, and something in the top right-hand corner that we cannot discern because the flyer’s graphics are of such poor quality,

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We’ll transcribe the all-caps text in its entirety below:

URGENT:

-STOP WEARING VESTS, YOU LOOK LIKE A REPUBLICAN.

-STOP COMMUTING TO WORK BY CAR, SF IS THE SECOND BEST CITY IN THE U.S. FOR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. PERSONAL AUTOMOBILES ARE WASTEFUL AND OUTDATED, YES EVEN EV’S.

-STOP TALKING ABOUT BAD CRIME AND HOMELESSNESS IS IN SF. YOU ARE WRONG AND YOU SOUND VERY RACIST.

-STOP GOING OUT/LIVING IN THE MARINA. ONLY REPUBLICANS GO OUT IN THE MARINA.

YOU LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO NOW, ITS TIME TO START ACTING LIKE IT.

Broke-Ass Stuart himself informed SFist that the flyer depicted here was seen on Valencia Street, not in the Marina itself. But here are reports on social media that these have been spotted in the Castro as well.

We assume the vest thing is a reference to the Patagonia “power vest” that is wildly popular among Silicon Valley investor types. And in defense of the Marina, the Lake Merced area is demonstrably far more Republican than the Marina. But we’ll give the flyer’s creator(s) this much  — if you're printing and posting rambling, incomprehensible flyers on Valencia Street, then yes, you are definitely “ACTING LIKE IT” that you live in San Francisco. Kudos.

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Images: (Left) brokeassstuart via Instagram, (Right) HBO

Is flyering your neighborhood the trend du jour of opinion-mongering? Days after all this went down, the folks over at Uppercasing have discovered a satirical gem that takes the classic drivers rights vs. pedestrian/cyclist safety argument to the next level.

A proposed Masonic redevelopment project that would remove some parking and add an elevated bike lane apparently has the area papered over with arguments for and against, but this one takes the cake for its clever use of "RAGE CAPS!!!" to skewer opponents of the plan. It so perfectly crystallizes the kneejerk reactions to this sort of thing that at first glance it seems almost genuine. Here are some highlights:

Don’t let the BIG LIE that over 700 people have been hit by cars in the past year in San Francisco fool you! MASONIC is as safe as a kittens belly fur! 90% of the people who agree with us and the FACTS THAT WE JUST MADE UP SUPPORT OUR CONCLUSIONS!!

A FLOOD of frustrated drivers whose trip now takes 5 minutes and 15 seconds instead of just 5 minutes will go on a KILLING SPREE!!! YOU MAY BE THEIR NEXT VICTIM!!! LIKE SUDDEN IMPACT! YOU WILL BE IMPACTED! ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

Write letters as though you have a fifth grade education! Grammar be DAMNED! WE KNOW the County Stoopid-visors are doing this TO YOU because GREED! Their evil intent, their INSIDIOUSNESS and MEAN-SPIRITEDNESS is matched only by that of… THE CYCLISTS!!

Keep the dream of the 1950′s alive! EVERY ROAD IS A HIGHWAY! TEA PARTY FOR LIFE!!! Are you a lawyer? Do you know one that wants to work for free? Perhaps for a bunch of shrill, hysterical crybabies over forty?

Good stuff. Head over to Uppercasing for the full read.

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[Uppercasing]

Sob. Maybe it's the simple, lonely cartoon boat, but color us touched. See, this guy or gal needs your help -- specifically, he or she needs your garage to build a boat in an effort to fix a shattered heart (aw). Also, he or she wants you to come along for the nautical ride (hmm). We've contacted the sad maritime lad via the email address on this flier found in Hayes Valley, and we'll update with more as soon as we hear back. Until then... stay strong.

Like others, Andrew Dudley of Haighteration was baffled by the many, many, many $2000 Rap Contest flyers that seemingly popped up all over San Francisco this past weekend. To find our more, Dudley, called the posted number to find out. Haighteration reports:

Turns out the flyer is for the 2Racks Rap Contest, created and hosted by San Francisco-based poet/rapper Sellassie. The contest is billed as “a fast-paced, single-elimination rap competition where emcees perform original songs head to head in front of celebrity and industry professional judges, competing for a $2000 cash prize.”

Other cities, like Chicago, Atlanta, Honolulu, Orlando, Seattle, and Los Angeles, will also host a throwdown. San Francisco's goes down on August 20.

For more details, check out Haighteration.

The one and only Brittney Gilbert spotted this uplifting flyer yesterday letting the world know that Moose the cat has been found. It's quite a refreshing change from the sad, outdated lost pet flyers that blow in the wind and eventually disintegrate, leaving us wondering if the beloved pet ever made it back home. Yay, Moose!

Suspiciously littered around SFist HQ near South Park, these flyers (featuring a mysterious 515 area code from some far off land called "Austin, Texas" "Des Moines, Iowa") have been tacked up to lampposts and sides of buildings for the past two weeks.

What happens when you call the number? Well, not much. We punched the flyer's digits. Here's what happened: the male-voice recording at the other end thanked us for calling Songnumbers (google it yourselves), claimed to be "sponsored by Chevrolet," and amont other things, asked if we wanted to hear a "hardcore rap song" about LOLCAT. (We declined.) So... there you have it. Ta-da.

Unless of course it's all a part of some larger joke or meme we're just not getting. In which case: huh? Anyway, now you know. Sleep easy, SF.

Here's what Chris had to say about it:

Funny thing is we knew the animal in question who was indeed not a dog or a cat, but a lost ferret. I think the ambiguity was twofold - for one I've been told ferrets are illegal to own in California; and secondly to allow the proper owner to identify the pet in question.

We hope the "small furry animal" made it back home! (We'll update when we hear back from Chris.)

Submit your Bay Area finds to found [at] sfist [dot] com or tag them sfist and found on Flickr! Let us know where and when you found the item and any other helpful info.