The mystery of the disappearing governor has been solved, as Gavin Newsom apparently skipped a global climate conference to be with his kids for Halloween and attend the fancy Getty heiress wedding at City Hall Saturday.

When governor Gavin Newsom suddenly pulled out of a planned climate conference in Glasgow last week, and went a week or so without appearing in public, right-wing media was instantly ablaze with conspiracy theories that since Newsom had just had his booster vaccine shot, that he must be in seclusion suffering from some kind of Nicki-Minaj's-cousin's-friend's-testicles kind of situation. Newsom’s camp played it coy, saying only that Newsom cancelled the trip because of a “family obligation."

Oh, he did have one “family obligation" last week, alright, but not to his own family. His obligation was to the Getty family, the oil heirs who made him with extensive political contributions throughout his career. The Examiner reports that Newsom was at Ivy Getty’s monstrously expensive City Hall wedding Saturday night, and since Pelosi was officiating, one would certainly expect Newsom got an invite. (Legend has it, according to the LA Times, that Newsom’s father was called upon to “deliver the ransom money after the 1973 kidnapping of J. Paul Getty’s grandson, John Paul Getty III.” That may or may not be true, but it’s likely that when the Gettys ask Gavin to jump, he quickly follows up with a question about their desired height.)

The story of Newsom’s presence at the wedding Saturday was broken by, of all publications, Vogue magazine. Vogue appears to be the only publication that got any reporters into the ceremony and reception, likely because of their willingness to just namedrop fashion labels and publish sentences like, “The bride wore a second couture look by Maison Margiela with a draped aquamarine choker that worked perfectly with the raw edge neckline of the gown for the reception.”

That piece also has a quote from fashion journalist Hamish Bowles: “But despite the architectural magnificence—and the panoply of state, with Nancy Pelosi officiating and Governor Newsom and Mayor Breed in attendance—the ceremony managed to feel extraordinarily intimate and personal, with Tobias’s charming vows and his passionate kiss that dislodged Ivy’s crown!”

When you’re done throwing up in your mouth from that quote, consider that the Bay Area News Group reports that Newsom now claims he skipped the climate conference to take his kids trick-or-treating.

“The kids literally, they kind of had an intervention, they said, they couldn’t believe that I was going to miss Halloween,” Newsom said of his skipping the summit. “I woke up that next morning with something that’s probably familiar to a lot of parents, that knot in your stomach, and I had no damn choice, I had to cancel that trip.”

So, say you did it for the kids, but don’t throw them under the bus like Ted Cruz did with the Ritz-Carlton Cancun thing. Well played, Gavin Newsom, well played.

We don’t know if the Gettys specifically yanked Gavin’s leash to make sure he was at the wedding — and the official report was that Newsom and wife Jennifer were planning only to be in Scotland from November 1 to November 3, so they would likely have been back in time for the November 6 ceremony and reception.

We do know that Newsom loves a fancy event. But if he’s going to try to make an issue of “oil company profits” hurting the climate, then attending billionaire oil heirs’ opulent, society-page events may eventually make him ripe for mockery on that front.  

Related: Heiress Ivy Getty Got Married at SF City Hall Saturday, With Nancy Pelosi Officiating, and a Reception at the Getty Manse [SFist]

Image: OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA - OCTOBER 08: California Gov. Gavin Newsom speaks during a news conference at Kingston 11 Cuisine on October 08, 2021 in Oakland, California. California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a COVID-19 recovery package, Senate Bill 314, that will allow restaurants and bars to keep parklets and give them a one-year grace period to apply for permanent expansion. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)