The Dub Sack: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! Warriors Win Second NBA Title In Three Years

The boom of fireworks just started well before Independence Day. The East Bay, Mission Street, and the collective populace of Dub Nation are now celebrating a richly deserved NBA championship. With a 129-120 win over the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Warriors blew a 3-1 meme into the forgotten dustbin of ancient history and have rendered Golden State as the world champions.

Say it! Say 'World Champions!' Sing "We Are the Champions" by Queen! Yell Waaaaar-yerrrrrrz!!! in wildly inappropriate situations! These are the privileges that you, the faithful and long-suffering Golden State Warriors fan, have now rightfully secured for the next 12 months of shit-talking and gloating as you celebrate the fifth title in franchise history (the third-ever as the Golden State Warriors (1975 and of course 2015, plus two as the Philadelphia Warriors in 1956 and 1947).

Your 2017 NBA Finals MVP is Kevin Durant. The man did not ride any coattails, he provided the coattails in winning his first career NBA championship and averaging more than 30 points in each game.

Roaracle Arena was a constellation of stars for the historic Warriors win. Snoop Dogg was there. MC Hammer was there. Diddy was there. Chris Rock was there. The Schuyler Sisters from Hamilton sang the national anthem (along with “Aaron Burr” Joshua Henry). Tickets for this privilege of witnessing history firsthand went for as much as $133,000 a pair.

The Warriors were down most of first quarter, by as many as eight points at two junctures in both the first and second quarters. But a key 21-2 run in the mid-second quarter got the party started when Kevin Durant put the Warriors ahead with two excessively long three-pointers and Steph Curry with a driving floater that no Warriors fan will ever, ever forget.

You will however, forget that Curry missed the and-one free throw (remarkably, Curry missed only three free throws the entire Finals). But that didn’t matter, as the Dub avalanche made for a 38-23 second quarter — advantage, Warriors — that rendered the second half of this game a euphoric celebration of merely watching seconds tick away, with the only legit moments of suspense when Cleveland drew within five in the early fourth quarter. Their Cavalier competitiveness would not last long.

The Golden State Warriors are now a superteam both in theory and in reality. Fuck parity. Long live the super team. These Warriors could probably beat the Team USA Olympics mens basketball team, and barber shops nationwide will engage in debate on whether these 2016-17 Warriors are the greatest NBA team of all time. And you know what? They probably are.

The MVP of the after-party? Kevin Durant's mom.

As for the victory parade, it's looking like Thursday morning, in Oakland.

Related: Steph Curry To Be NBA's MVP For Second Time