I’m a zombie right now. Last night, I dreamt of Kyrie Irving. He didn’t play particularly well in yesterday’s game or anything, so I don’t know why he haunted me, but there he was, dribbling, dribbling, dribbling in and out of my dreams all through the night. I suppose it could have been worse. I could have dreamt of Harrison Barnes. It’d be just like that other dream where the wall crumbles and I get crushed by a ton of bricks. Clank.
The Cleveland Cavaliers have made this series far too fucking interesting. By beating the Warriors 115-101, they forced a Game 7 this coming Sunday. Just earlier this week, we were all set up for a perfectly fine, totally lopsided, utterly boring NBA Finals. The Warriors were up 3-1 and coming home to the friendly confines of the Oracle and it was going to be over in 5 games and basketball fans would have complained how disappointing this entire post-season was. It was everything we could have wanted. And then the league got involved. And now we have what will probably be one of the most incredibly epic Game 7s in NBA history. When that final buzzer goes off, we will have either a 73-9 team repeat as champions and completing the greatest season in NBA history, or we will have the full redemption of the King as he fulfills his promise of bringing a championship to his land. It’s perfect. It can go to hell.
The Warriors lost last night’s game in the first quarter. It was amazing. It really was. They missed their first 7 shots. Steph incurred two fouls in the first 6 minutes, including one where he dared to have established position before being mowed down by a charging LeBron. He sat out the rest of the quarter, in which time the game went from 13-5 Cleveland to 31-9 Cleveland. Then Iggy hit a shot in the final seconds. Yay.
The Warriors threw the spade into the soil, put their foot and all their weight onto the top edge, sinking it deep into the ground. They dug and they dug until they found themselves at the bottom of a 20-point hole. It was the worst performance any of us have ever seen in an NBA Finals. It was a shambles and it was shameful. Yes, they made their runs in the second and third quarters. But what does a run get you when you’re down by 20? A ten-point run (which is really hard to do!) makes it a ten point game. Then the run ends and the other team scores 4 points and just like that, it’s like why even try, man?
Steph fouled-out of the game. I don’t remember the last time he fouled out. When the sixth and final foul was called, Steph, in anger, threw his mouthpiece. It hit a fan. Here it is:
Turns out, that fan is the son of one of the Cavs' owners, so who cares. It was a bullshit call, one of many against the Warriors and against Steph in particular. I don’t know. Expect this to be a story or something from now until Sunday. Steve Kerr will be fined for calling out the refs in the post-game. Steph will be fined for hitting some nerd. People are talking possible suspension for Steph. It’s not gonna happen.
LeBron is everything everyone says he is.
Harrison Barnes is a scab that you keep picking at. You think that this time, if you pick the scab, it will reveal new, fully healed flesh underneath. But no. It gushes blood and a strange yellowish-grey goo that makes you think you should schedule an appointment. That’s Harrison Barnes. Stop picking him. Also, schedule that appointment.
Last month, my sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Her name is Juni. I love holding her head to my nose and inhaling. The scent of her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I’d hide. I’m gonna go there now. To that place and swaddle myself up like my little niece. If, at around 8 p.m. on Sunday night, I hear the soothing sounds of rioting and police sirens and smell the sweet scent of burning couches and Muni buses, I’ll emerge a new man. If I hear deafening silence, I will stay there. I will suck my thumb.
The Over-Reaction: THE NBA IS OFFICIALLY RIGGED! OMG, WE’RE GOING TO LOSE, AREN’T WE?! WE SO FUCKING ARE. GODDAMMIT THEY’RE GOING TO GIVE THE KING HIS CORONATION ON OUR COURT!!! BURN THEM ALL!!!
The Mild-Mannered Reaction: I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HOMECOURT ADVANTAGE IN GAME 7! THIS IS A GAME 7—ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!!! WINNING EVERYTHING WENT FROM A 99.999% CHANCE TO A BLOODY COIN TOSS!!! BURN THEM ALL!!!
Golden State Warriors v. Cleveland Cavaliers
Series tied, 3-3
Thursday, June 2: Warriors WON
Sunday, June 5: Warriors WON , 110-77
Wednesday, June 8: Warriors LOST, 120-90
Friday, June 10: Warriors WON, 108-97
Monday, June 13: Warriors LOST, 112-97
Thursday, June 16: Warriors LOST, 115-101
Sunday, June 19: Warriors at home, 5 PM (ABC)