How would you like a furnished, 300-square-foot hotel room in which to live out your meager existence in San Francisco alongside some substance-prone regulars who pay a daily rate and keep some odd hours? How would you like it if I told you that for $1450 a month you could share a bathroom in this fine, 116-year-old residential hotel, and occasionally encounter used syringes there? Because that's what's on offer via this Craigslist ad for rooms at the Sweden House Hotel at O'Farrell and Leavenworth.

Naturally the ad paints a different picture of things at this Tenderloin crashpad, referring to it first of all as being in Union Square, which is four particularly colorful blocks away from being accurate.

The hotel's website calls it "designer" and "3-star," and the Craigslist ad calls the available room(s) "Clean, quiet secure" (sic).

Below, I bring you the account of a Yelper who visited the place 10 months ago.

Horrible! This place is the absolute worst in San Francisco, and not even sure how they are still open. Where to start? Their are drug parties at night, so you can't sleep and wake up to heroin syringes laying in the hallway and bathrooms the next day. Our shades were just nailed up sheets that had blood stains on them. It constantly wreaks of smoke from the people working there?!? The most uncomfortable bed I've ever laid in and had gross stains. How the bird poop in the hallways? Random right? To boot, super unfriendly people working there.

Some syringes, as an illustration:

And here's another account from 2014.

I don't like germs so I brought my UV light with me and ahhhh! I disinfected that joint. (took about 2 hours) I've slept in war zones nicer than this place.

My first night here I was attacked by Bed Bugs, no big deal, not really their fault, I call up Bruce the caretaker, and tell him, "Hey Bruce, sorry to disturb you so late (9pm), but I happen to have some bedbugs scurrying about, any chance I can get another room." And.. I... mean... bedbugs by the thousands. They started sprawling out along the walls, all over. There was another lady who had the same problem that night. Luckily, I did not get bit, I was waiting for them to come out, since I used my UV light trick I could tell the bed once had them, but I wasn't taking any chances.

He handled it like a champ, and got me an extra room. It was a better room, since it had a tv, and no bed bugs. Yay, that's a relief, (I know ask for too much in life).

So, much like this bedbug-infested North Beach flophouse was doing last year, Sweden House is advertising their rooms with "free wifi" and "high-speed internet" to whoever needs a place to crash really quick. And coincidentally, the rates are the same! $1450/month is apparently the going rate for bedbug-infested flophouses now, though you can obviously get a room by the week or the night too, possibly even by the hour.

Here's a photo of one of the shared bathrooms, of which there are allegedly "many".

I have to say, with those descriptions above, you'd probably be better off heading to this terrible SRO in the Mission where they're only charging $1300 for the privilege of smelling Indian food all night and perhaps finding other people's hair all over surfaces in your room.

Also it should be noted that the owner posting the ad didn't even bother with photos. They know you're desperate. They think you'll see "Union Square" and some price under $2000 and they think you'll just show up there, belongings in tow, after a quick email.

But isn't this also a form of gentrification and displacement, albeit a lazy form?! Like, if employed newcomers arrive in town and take these rooms, where will the drug users and other low-income residents who usually stay there go?

And Jesus Christ, is this any way to live if you are not super high all the time?

Please, if anyone actually went to one of these showings that the owner offers daily, for one half hour between noon and 12:30, I'd love to hear if it all still looks just like this. And what happens if you show up at 1? No room showing for you?

And while I sympathize with hotel owners who wish they could cash in on this crazy economy we've had, and make some of that tech money for themselves, you just can go from crack den to legitimate residential option overnight.

You've got a little work to do, Sweden House Hotel, as does much of that stretch of O'Farrell, before you can just pretend to be a real, "clean" hotel.

All previous editions of Apartment Sadness on SFist.

Photo: Yelp