Because you should probably get off the internet and off Candy Crush at some point, and you will need to do something besides holiday parties this week.
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8
TIKI BIRTHDAY: Venerable rum temple Smuggler's Cove, dubbed one of the 13 most influential craft cocktail bars in the country, turns six years old tonight. Hop in and help celebrate with an all-night happy hour, and the most comprehensive, and well mixed, Tiki cocktail selections in the Bay. 650 Gough Street at McAllister, 5 p.m. to 1:15 a.m.
BORDER-RELATED DOUBLE FEATURE: The Castro Theatre's got a double bill tonight all about the Mexican border, immigration, and drug enforcement. First there's 2015's Sicario starring a "never better" Benicio Del Toro, Emily Blunt, and Josh Brolin. And that's followed by unsung Jack Nicholson film The Border from 1981, directed by Tony Richardson and also featuring Harvey Keitel and Valerie Perrine. 429 Castro Street. 7 p.m. and 9:15 p.m., $11
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9
MAN FRANCISCO: Billed as the "ultimate girls' and gays' night out," this male burlesque revue features "a 175-year journey from the Gold Rush to the tech boom, as told through male sensual dance." It's hosted by gay porn's female film director extraordinaire mr. Pam, and features dancers Colin Emerald, Darius Monroe, Thomas Julio Rodriguez, and Jon Shield. SF Oasis, 298 11th Street, 9:30 p.m., $20-$25
SOUL REMIX DANCE PARTY: This semi-monthly party for lovers of funk and soul remixes will be featuring Oakland's DJ Mancub this week, not to mention $6 tequila-Tecate combos. Get your Thursday hangover done right. Monarch, 101 6th Street, 9:30 p.m., $5
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10
PHOTO OPENING: Littoral Drift is a show of photographs and photo collages by Meghann Riepenhoff that incorporates naturally occurring water effects along with the chemistry of cyanotype printing to explore "themes of landscape, time, and impermanence and subjects of rain, ocean, and shoreline." SF Camerawork, 1011 Market Street, 2nd Floor, 6 to 8 p.m.
ENGLISH MURDER-COMEDY: The 2014 Tony winner for Best Musical, A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder, just landed in town, and it's an unqualified hoot. See my review here for more details, but suffice it to say, fans of Gilbert & Sullivan, innovative stagecraft, and dark comedy will be thoroughly amused. Golden Gate Theater, Golden Gate Avenue and Taylor, 8 p.m., $45-$95
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11
MODERN JAZZ: Famed jazz cover-ers of rock tunes like Blondie's "Heart of Glass" and Radiohead's "Karma Police," The Bad Plus are doing a weekend of shows at SFJAZZ that is almost sold out, but not quite. Premium tickets for the shows, which also features Joshua Redman, are still available. SFJAZZ, 201 Franklin Street, 7:30 p.m., $70
PROGRESSIVE ROCK SHOW: Ghost Parade invades Bottom of the Hill this weekend, bringing their own San Francisco brand of aggressive, melodic rock to this tiny venue, alongside openers Beta State and Panic Is Perfect. Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th Street, 9p.m., $12
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12
ZINE-A-PALOOZA: The East Bay Alternative Book and Zine Fair (EBāBZ) rings in its sixth year at Berkeley City College, and the all-volunteer-run/organized event features workshops (learn book binding!), panels, readings, and a vendor fair. 2050 Center Street, Berkeley, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
JAPANESE ART TALK: Get a dose of actual culture this weekend with a lecture related to the well publicized current exhibit at the Asian Art Museum, Looking East: How Japan Influenced Monet, Van Gogh, and other Western Artists. This talk will be with Dr. Karen Fraser of Santa Clara University, discussing the complementary ways that Japanese artists were looking at Western art in the same period, post-1853. Asian Art Museum, 200 Larkin Street, 2 p.m., $15, free for students
DRUNK TED TALK: "Like TED Talks except the speakers are shitfaced," is how wasTED Talks is described. Rescheduled from last week, this one features Keith D'Souza and Justin Gomes and a whole lot of Old Grand Dad. PianoFight, 144 Taylor Street, 10:30 p.m., $10
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13
HANUKKAH BRUNCH: There are, actually, a lot of Hanukkah food options to choose from, but we'll just highlight again the Challah-centric brunch happening at Alta CA these days, called Holla! See the full menu here, and this is technically the last day it's being offered, so grab a reservation. Alta CA, 1420 Market Street, 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.