After a long, carefully Facebook-documented pregnancy, Dr. Priscilla Chan has given birth to Silicon Valley's royal baby, a girl named Max, as she and husband Mark Zuckerberg proudly posted to the social network where they plan to delight and annoy us with their adorable offspring from here on out.

Not to be upstaged by Chan, who with a very negligible bit of help from Zuckerberg produced a beautiful human life, the Facebook CEO pledged to enrich Max's future and the lives of all generations by giving away 99 percent of his and Chan's Facebook stock, the equivalent of $45 billion dollars, to charitable causes during his lifetime. That ought to do it, right?

Though the timing may appear inopportune — who exactly is expected to be paying for Max's college tuition, Mark? — the decision to part with much of the family fortune is an act of parental gratitude, he says, and a true pledge for a better world.

In a heartfelt, lengthy letter to Max, Mark wrote, "Like all parents, we want you to grow up in a world better than ours today." Then he dadsplains literally the entire world and its ills and introduces the newly formed Chan Zuckerberg Initiative which will address them all systematically.

Here's a video which contains similar language and sentiments to the letter.

Also, just a reminder, they have a cool dog who magically levitated over the weekend.

Previously: The Zuckerbergs Are Pregnant