Sometimes, there just isn't time or money for a real vacation. But you do realize that the city you live in happens to be one of the highest ranked domestic tourist destinations in the nation — we're often ranked number one — so why not just pretend for a minute that you don't live here and explore some things you haven't explored before? Below, a few themed staycations to use as a jumping-off point. But feel free to create your own, involving picnics in the Presidio, walking tours of the Tenderloin or North Beach (Detour is a fun app to try out), or even slumming in Fisherman's Wharf (see also: this).

Downtown Staycation
Speaking as someone who's always lived outside the beating heart that is Union Square/SoMa/North Beach/Chinatown, while for the last 18 years I've enjoyed many good times in the area I'll loosely call "downtown," any time I've been there, I've always been heading to or from somewhere. Sound familiar? If so, then a downtown staycation might be your cup of tea. Start by booking yourself into a hotel that's the opposite of your home — if you live in one of SF's new, glossy buildings, go for the faded and vaguely Shiningesque majesty of the Fairmont (950 Mason St) or the Palace (2 New Montgomery St). If, like me, you live in a funky older abode, go for high-end gloss — I did the Intercontinental (888 Howard St) in May, and it was a fancy-pants change of pace (tip: a lot of big hotel chains offer "oh shit we're not booked up this weekend" last minute deals, so setting an alert on a site like Priceline or Kayak can save you some serious dough). Once you've settled in, checked the water pressure, and eyeballed the mini-bar, open up SFist, Eater, Inside Scoop, or, hell, even Yelp and make a list of 4-5 "hot" restaurants you'd like to try out. Hit up your hotel's concierge to see what they can get for you — in some cases, it might be an actual reservation, in other cases, they can get you on a walk-in waiting list. Pick the best deal, then head out for dinner, feeling smugly superior to both the tourists and the people who have to ride Muni home. Your bed is here! Saturday morning, scam some of your hotel's continental breakfast (most places will offer one for free, ask when you check in), then head out to all those jillions of downtown museums you pass on your way to work or a bar or Muni. Give yourself some time to recover in your fancy hotel room — if your place has a pool, hit it! — then head out on a dinner adventure by just walking around until you see a place that looks good. I know, it sounds crazy, but that's how real discoveries are made! And even if they can't get you in that night, you can make a reservation for another day because YOU LIVE HERE. Sunday morning, blow it out at the Palace Hotel's Garden Court brunch buffet (7-10 a.m., definitely make a reservation ). Yeah, it's 38 bucks, but you get access to a pretty remarkable spread, and you can talk about how awesome The Game was (its dramatic conclusion was set in that very room). — Eve Batey

Urban Wine Staycation
If you're feeling like a weekend spent sipping vino in some of the hippest spots this town has to offer, start your Friday night out at California Wine Merchants (2113 Chestnut Street). The spot's speakeasy vibe is a departure from your standard wine bar, and their semi-regular events make for a great date night. And speaking of dates, CWM sells bottles to go if you want to continue the evening elsewhere. When Saturday rolls around, head to the Mission and check out AP VIN (622 Treat Ave), an urban winery tucked away behind an unassuming sliding garage door. Treat yourself to a casual tasting while sitting on a stool out front (call ahead to make sure they're pouring that day). Music from Southern Pacific Brewing's next door patio will provide an entertaining soundtrack. Once you've had your fill there, it's just a short walk to L’emigrante Wine Bar & Bistro (2199 Mission St), a relative newcomer to the Mission. L’emigrante has a serious wine menu with food to match, and the intimate feel of the place smack dab on the bustling Mission Street is sure to carry you through your Saturday night. Come Sunday, get over to Terroir (1116 Folsom Street). The SoMa wine bar and merchant has a wide selection of organic and bio-dynamic wines, offers varying selections of cheese, and has vinyl spinning on a legit turntable. — Jack Morse

Beer-Lover's Staycation
To sum up Corona's entire marketing campaign, beer is a vacation in a glass. Sure, it's fun to trip to San Diego or Portland for their breweries and beer tours, or more locally to make a pilgrimage to Russian River. But with so many new beers to try in your own backyard, a suds staycation is clearly in order. Every tap list in town is long and well-thought-out thanks to the beer boom, which is fantastic, but for our purposes let's focus on paces brewing their own beer — stuff you can't really get anywhere else. Start out with a dinner at the newly opened Black Sands Brewery in the Haight, which gets super busy already. The burger is out-of-control good, as is all the food really, and if it's too crowded just wait it out for a beer or two at Toronado down the street. Or, if you'd like, swing by there after. On Saturday, you should be in SoMa where two small and delicious brewing outfits await. Start by hitting up Local Brewing Co.: near Caltrain, where head brewer Regan Long is pouring dynamite beer like 1776, an India Black Ale that's smoky, clean, and crisp. After a few there, move over to Cellarmaker Brewing Company, farther north, where the pale ales are fruity and their popular brew Coffee and Cigarettes is a thick, boozy treat. For dinner, get over to Bernal Heights/Flats and Old Bus Tavern. Great food and excellent beers await: Think lemon basil saison or Texas breakfast, a chili porter poured on nitro so it's smooth. On Sunday, wake up not too hungover and, I don't care how you do it, but get to Faction Brewing in Alameda. There's something appropriate about a beer flight in a giant hanger, and all their options are hop-forward and obviously fresh. From Faction, take your now serious beer gut over to either/both Woods Bar & Brewery, where you'll find outdoor fire pits and funky beers from the same folks behind Cerveceria, and Drake's Dealership, a giant new biergarten that wouldn't fit in San Francisco (it's on Auto Row in Oakland), with wood-fired pizza and 32 taps. — Caleb Pershan

Spa-Day Staycation
Start off Friday evening with a massage, perhaps at Bliss at the W downtown, and maybe even a facial. A quiet dinner at home, or a healthy dinner from somewhere like Blue Barn Gourmet will set you right. You could begin a Saturday taking a long soak in one of the outdoor soaking tubs at the Spa Vitale (upstairs at the Hotel Vitale on the Embarcadero), or you could invest in a longer massage, or a couples massage, at Earthbody Day Spa in Hayes Valley. Cap that day of intense relaxation with a soak at Kabuki Springs (if you're a guy, since Saturdays are men-only days), and perhaps light fish dinner at Bar Crudo. Then wrap things up on Sunday with a day at the quirky, no-frills Archimedes Banya in Hunters Point, where you can just soak for a $37 day pass, and enjoy a beer or two, or go in for some aromatherapy or hydrotherapy, as well as another massage. Come Monday, you'll feel fresh and new, and ready to tackle another Monday. — Jay Barmann

Beachside Staycation
Ocean Beach is so lovely, but I know (because I hear you complaining from my beach-adjacent window) how hard it is for y'all east-siders to drag yourselves out on the N or the 38, only to schlep back tired, sunburnt, and maybe even a little drunk. Instead, make a weekend of it! Book yourself a room at the Seal Rock Inn (545 Point Lobos Ave), and settle in for a couple days of fun. Friday night, head over to Park Chalet (1000 Great Highway) by happy hour to nab one of their back "yard" tables. Send one of your party to order drinks (they make their own beer!) and food, while you listen to whatever live music they have that night, and relax as the sun starts to set over the ocean. Don't forget to bring a jacket! Saturday get up early to score a booth at Louis' (902 Point Lobos Ave), then walk off your breakfast with a hike through Lands End (your Fitbit will love you for it). Once you're good and tuckered out, return to civilization by heading a couple blocks east on Balboa to the historic Balboa Theatre (3630 Balboa St) and catch a movie there. After the movie (and maybe a nap) walk south along Ocean Beach (you pick — along the shore or the sidewalk) as the sun sets, until you near Noriega. At that point, leave the sand for the streets, and get on the waiting list at Toyose (3814 Noriega St) for the best Korean food you've ever eaten out of a converted garage. While you wait, grab a drink or two at cozy dive Flanahan's Pub (3805 Noriega St) and check out the local color. Sunday morning, your head might be aching because you combined whatever you drank at Flanahan's with Toyose's crazy soju cocktails, but there's a Walgreens just up Geary from your hotel with a cure for that. Then it's off to Marla Bakery (3619 Balboa Street) for their fantastic Sunday brunch (make a reservation). Before you head home, stop by the Lands End Lookout (680 Point Lobos) to pick up a souvenir from your visit out west. Come back soon! — Eve Batey

Cocktail Geek Staycation
You do know you live in possibly the country's finest cocktail town, where bartenders of great skill and creativity have been inventing amazing, balanced concoctions to add to the canon for almost two decades now. Start off with an appointment at Wilson & Wilson, a.k.a. The Wilson Bar, a.k.a. the quieter bar-within-the-bar at Bourbon & Branch where you'll be treated to a three-course cocktail flight, and plenty of interaction with the barkeeps. (You may want to scarf down some pizza or something beforehand, just so you aren't too wasted afterward.) If you're a professional, you can finish the night at Tradition down the street, or in the calmer environs of Benjamin Cooper, where they'll fix you up with a bespoke cocktail that you'll love but may or may not remember at this point. Saturday you should probably rest up a bit, but you could head for a brunch cocktail at Nopa or Maven, where you'll be able to get some necessary sustenance as well. At 5 p.m. you can hopefully grab a seat at Smuggler's Cove, where you should probably only have one Tiki drink, because two or more might mean the end of your night. Finish off the night in relative quiet at the Hideout at Dalva, or with the hordes at Trick Dog. On Sunday you could hop a ferry to Alameda and do a tour and tasting at St. George Distillery, or you could stay in town and check out the fun, Latin vibe at Cantina, which opens at 2 p.m. Sundays, and where the pisco and tequila concoctions might be just what the doctor ordered. You could finish the weekend off with tapas and marvelous gin and tonics at Coqueta, down by the water. After that, realistically, assuming you didn't take Monday off, you should probably go home. — Jay Barmann

A Healthy Detox Staycation
For every bar or hedonistic occasion in San Francisco, there are always several outposts (sometimes on the same block) for you to detoxify from your indulgences and treat your body right. You have your classes like the high-impact CrossFit or SoulCycle, but there are also tons of free (and often, more rewarding) options if you want to get your sweat on. As an added bonus, SF offers stunning backdrops coupled with the free exercise that you’ll gain from having to reach those vista points, like the beautifully tiled steps (a neighborhood project) in the Inner Sunset that lead to Grand View Park or the picturesque neighborhood (and steep inclines) that you’ll walk through to get to a view from Tank Hill Park. You can also sweat it all out in an indoor studio at hot yoga (note: bring a bottle or several of water with you). Speaking of yoga — if you want to stretch your staycation weekend out into a longer stint (as you should), you can catch Yoga on the Labyrinth in the breathtaking and iconic Grace Cathedral on Tuesdays, which is purely donation-based. Top all of this off with a juice from Pressed Juicery (Greens 3 is one of the best from here), with several locations in the city — and most of the locations allowing you ample samples before you buy. And you could finish your weekend with a nice and healthy vegetarian or vegan meal at Greens, or Gracias Madre, and no one will tell if you order a little wine. — Betty Wang

Woods Bar & Brewery, Oakland