Before Urban Dictionary provided satirical definitions to ridiculous terms, Ambrose Bierce satirized Webster's list of words and phrases with his Devil's Dictionary. Bierce began the project as a newspaper columnist right here in San Francisco, sardonically defining, for example, "Admonition" as, "Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe."
Now, in a hybrid between Urban Dictionary and The Devil's Dictionary, local software engineers Kilim Choi, Matt Hui, and Zeeshan Javed have introduced Silicon Valley Dictionary. Like the former, anyone can contribute and vote on definitions. And like the latter, it skewers verbosity and jargon.
According to IEEE spectrum, Choi, Hui, and Javed were watching HBO’s Silicon Valley when they conceived of the online dictionary. In fact, many terms and definitions come directly from the show. There's the "Three Comma Club," for instance, an obtuse way of indicating that someone has a billion dollars since there are three commas in $1,000,000,000.
The Silicon Valley Dictionary is growing fast with new submissions daily. So far these are my favorites.
Fuck you money
When you make enough money from a startup or job that you can basically do whatever you want. Usually from equity after a liquidity event.
How somebody without any real skills describes themselves. The phrase itself is self explanatory.
Matthew: tell us why we should hire you
Kilim: I am a thought leader in the area of SAAS
Matthew: what does that even mean
Kilim: I am a thought leader
Making the world a better place
Solving a very specific problem that loosely translates into a social benefit.
We are making the world a better place through P2P iBeacon messaging platforms.
Used when a startup has failed. Intend to give a positive spin on what is a gut wrenching moment.
While our startup has failed, it has been an awesome journey.
A company that sells groceries to the lazy, stock shares to the gullible, and cloud services to the lazy and gullible.
Amazon: because I want to buy my underwear and Redis clusters from the same company.
A Wharton MBA who will overestimate the value of his idea and underestimate the value of the person who will implement it. Often wonders why his technical cofounders leave him and the apps they build look like shit and get hacked all the time.
Non-technical Cofounder: Why do all these technical cofounders leave me? Did they not see the MBA from Wharton in my email? I'm telling you right now, I know how to write a business plan. I even offered the last guy 10% of my company.
A 4.0 student from MIT, the technical founder is a lone wolf who thinks business people are completely useless. You're a social media manager? Get the fuck out of here. His code is perfectly architected, clean and commented in all the right places. His startups fail because he doesn't think writing CSS is worth his time and his sites look like shit as a result.
Technical founder: I was almost about to team up with a non-technical cofounder but then he told me he wanted a user interface to manage our sites content.
A mythical University in Canada where many good Engineers and Computer Scientists come from.
Sam: "Where are all these Canadians from?"
Matthew: "We hired 10 interns and 20 full-times from Waterloo. They get shit done because if we don't hire them, they'll have to work for Blackberry."
Engineering manager: Congrats on the IPO everybody. See you guys on Monday.
Engineer: I'm not sure about that
Manager: You think you can do whatever you want now you have that fuck you money?
Engineer: Sorry sir. I just got a little excited
A coffee brand that Bay Area engineers and investors drink because Starbucks is too mainstream. They think their consuming premium beans, when really it's all based on multi-bean combinations that no one in their right mind can tell the difference between. Because they secretly know this they ask if you'd like cream and sugar (aka Philz Way)
Zeeshan: Can I try your Ambarosia?
Matt: Sure, let me try your Tesora.
Zeeshan: Wow I taste a more buttery aftertaste in yours.
Matt: Woah is that a hint of Blueberry.
Justin: You guys are both full of shit. They taste exactly the same. This is Philz Coffee, not Blue Bottle.