A Bay Area man was arrested Tuesday, after the dulcet tones of Marilyn Manson sent him to such heights of passion that he was allegedly compelled to begin pleasuring himself on the spot.
According to Concord police Cpl. Christopher Blakely, 33-year-old Brian Smith attended the Smashing Pumpkins' and Marilyn Manson's "The End Times Tour" at the Concord Pavilion Tuesday night.
But when the show ended, Smith was apparently left unsatisfied. Blakely says that at around 11 p.m., a resident of Pavilion-adjacent Burnside Court called police to say that a man, identified as Smith, was trying to open her back door.
According to Blakely, the woman and her husband grabbed a baseball bat in case they needed to beat Smith off before police could arrive. Instead, however, Smith gave up on attempting to breach their home, and instead allegedly "took off all his clothing and started to masturbate in their backyard."
When police arrived, they went to the yard and found Smith still "drunk, naked and masturbating," Blakely says, Smith's staying power apparently set to compete with the inexplicable longevity of Manson's career.
Sadly, the evening's ending for Smith was not a happy one: He was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure, trespassing and public intoxication, Blakely says.
Update: According to KRON4, the allegedly masturbating man is also "a convicted child killer," and had been released from prison in Washington State after serving "10 years of a 13-year sentence for murdering a 2-year-old girl."