When you see a headline like "14 ways to enjoy S.F. during Burning Man exodus," it's hard to make yourself click through, and to reward what's likely to be a clueless listicle with even a single pageview. But it's my job to click through on things, and in the case of this article, I'm glad I did.

I was still in my early-morning should I put this in morning links? haze as I began reading this piece from today, and didn't get what Chron scribe Peter Hartlaub was going for at first.

"Burning Man was orchestrated by a group of longtime San Franciscans (identities unknown, but names such as Wilsey, Caen, Kantner and honorary citizen Bennett, née Benedetto, almost certainly involved)" the third paragraph begins. What? I thought to myself. Peter knows better than this! WHAT IS HAPPENING.

"Their goal?" he continues, "To move all the cool young people, new money wealth and the entire staff of the San Francisco Bay Guardian out of the city, so that for one weekend each summer the remaining population could enjoy the San Francisco of yesteryear."

Ohhhh.

What follows is an unexpectedly funny list of activities like "Wear a suit and tie to work" and "Vote for a conservative." Basically, the antithesis of every other Things To Do While The Burners Are Gone piece out there.

Well played, Hartlaub. Well played.

Related: When The Burners Are Away, It's Our Time To Play: 7 Ways To Make The Most Of It

[Chron]