Look, I'm excited about the upcoming release of the iPhone 6 too, especially because my husband's 4 is baaarely limping along and I'll be damned if I'm going to buy him a new phone just to have a bigger, stronger, faster one appear a month later. But sometimes it's like, oh god shut up with the iPhone rumors, right? For example, here some headlines from the last day or so:

...and, according to Google News, there are 225 more articles like this we could also read. From the last 24 or so hours.

That's why I was laughing aloud at Second City's brilliant takekedown/teardown of "the new iPhone 6," described as "Your boy Doldo411 gives you the low down on the biggest leak in Apple history! Check it out."

That dog! But, yes, as our pals at Chicagoist note, "There's always a 'Doldo411' among us, ready to make a name, if not an ass, of himself."

But, OK, fine. According to current rumor, iPhone 6 is expected to launch on September 9, and will reportedly have a bigger screen, a faster chip, and a less cracky screen.

The bun, we understand, will be optional.