Record-temperatures will blanket the Bay Area today, making it the perfect Wednesday to head to Dolores Park and toss a few shekels at the Truffle Man. (Actually, he might only work on weekends; plus, you really don't need to get janked on hump day.) I mean, look at this bullshit. It's nuts.

You have a little less than an hour to come up with the perfect excuse to get out of work. Go.