Last Week:
at Arizona (WON)
at Arizona (lost)
at Arizona (WON)
at Arizona (WON)
at L.A. Bums (WON)
at L.A. Bums (WON)
at L.A. Bums (lost)

This Week:
Tue: Diamondbacks (Opening Day calendar. Giveaway rating: I could live without it)
Wed: Diamondbacks (Hunter Pence bobble head. Giveaway rating: I want it)
Thu: Diamondbacks (Farewell to the Stick scarf. Giveaway rating: I want it)
Fri: Rockies (fireworks night. Rating: I love fireworks)
Sat: Rockies (duffel bag. Giveaway rating: eh)
Sun: Rockies (sports sleeve. Giveaway rating: God, no)

Days like today are the worst. It's 75 degrees. It's the San Francisco Giants' home opener—first pitch was at 1:35 PM. The ballpark must look heartbreakingly beautiful right now and we should all be there! All of us. We should be sitting on hot plastic chairs with cold Anchor Steams in our left hand, a Doggie Diner hotdog in our right, and garlic fries on our laps. We should be chasing batting practice balls and taking pictures and loving life. And yet, here we are, stuck at the office or the coffee shop or the apartment or jail or wherever. This blows.

But, you can't get too mad on Opening Day at AT&T Park. Yes, baseball opened shop last week, but today is baseball's official return to the City for the 2014 season and that is, objectively, a helluva good thing. It's especially nice given the week the Giants have had in the deserts of Arizona and L.A. Five wins, two losses—three of four in Arizona, two of three in L.A., coming back home in 1st Place in the NL West—the Giants took care of business. Angel Pagan took care of business. As did Brandon Belt. And Buster. Hunter and Panda and Matt Cain, not so much, but hey, how about that Michael Morse! He's massive!

The Giants remain in town for nine games, split evenly between the D-backs, the Rockies, and the Bums. That gives the rest of us ample opportunity to make our pilgrimage to the park, where we can cheer the home team, jeer the road team, and beer ourselves. It's gonna be a good season!

Ridiculous, Meaningless, Out-Of-Context Stat Of The Week: Brandon Belt is on pace to hit over 90 home runs this year.