Hear ye, hear ye: There's only one more weekend left of a fully open and operational Dolores Park, with the northern half of the park (Hipster Hill, Fixie Flats, tennis courts) closing for six months starting March 13.
We've known this has been coming for a couple years now, with the outcry, subsequent public-input process, and inevitable bureaucracy slowing things down multiple times. And we even thought last fall that this construction process was beginning in January, but that's been delayed. But it's really happening, people. And come the next sunny weekend, the denizens of the Gay Beach/Fruit Shelf and the entire mixed-crowd slope south of the restrooms are not going to know what hit them when the refugees of Hipster Hill invade.
As Bay City News reports, there was already a groundbreaking ceremony this past Saturday.
Allow me to offer some peace-keeping advice for the coming six months, and for the half-year beyond that when the southern half of the park will get its closure:
HH Folks: Leave your bikes at home. Seriously. Half the picnicking real estate of the park is disappearing and we're all going to have to make do with less, so your pile of bicycles no longer has a place next to your blanket. Use your feet. It's a great walking city.
Gay Beach Fans: Try to keep cat-calling to a minimum. Many of those fey boys with beards and good haircuts are, in fact believe it or not heterosexual. Also, while the crook of the elbow is likely always to be a well bronzed, occasionally Speedo'd sausage fest on the sunniest of days, try to share the edges of the shelf like good citizens. We're all in this together, and some of us can not afford fancy restaurant birthdays and will need to have them here.
The first part of the renovations will include new turf for Fixie Flats as well as a new path that snakes diagonally from 18th and Church to the center of the park, and a new restroom at that corner as well. And let's not forget the bicycle polo/mixed use court up where the basketball court is. The second half of the renovations, taking place next fall and winter, will include a new overlook plaza thing up at the corner of 20th and Church, and a new restroom built into the hill below the playground.
Stay calm, everyone. And somehow we will get through this.