Is flyering your neighborhood the trend du jour of opinion-mongering? Days after all this went down, the folks over at Uppercasing have discovered a satirical gem that takes the classic drivers rights vs. pedestrian/cyclist safety argument to the next level.
A proposed Masonic redevelopment project that would remove some parking and add an elevated bike lane apparently has the area papered over with arguments for and against, but this one takes the cake for its clever use of "RAGE CAPS!!!" to skewer opponents of the plan. It so perfectly crystallizes the kneejerk reactions to this sort of thing that at first glance it seems almost genuine. Here are some highlights:
Don’t let the BIG LIE that over 700 people have been hit by cars in the past year in San Francisco fool you! MASONIC is as safe as a kittens belly fur! 90% of the people who agree with us and the FACTS THAT WE JUST MADE UP SUPPORT OUR CONCLUSIONS!!
A FLOOD of frustrated drivers whose trip now takes 5 minutes and 15 seconds instead of just 5 minutes will go on a KILLING SPREE!!! YOU MAY BE THEIR NEXT VICTIM!!! LIKE SUDDEN IMPACT! YOU WILL BE IMPACTED! ALL DAY EVERY DAY!
Write letters as though you have a fifth grade education! Grammar be DAMNED! WE KNOW the County Stoopid-visors are doing this TO YOU because GREED! Their evil intent, their INSIDIOUSNESS and MEAN-SPIRITEDNESS is matched only by that of THE CYCLISTS!!
Keep the dream of the 1950′s alive! EVERY ROAD IS A HIGHWAY! TEA PARTY FOR LIFE!!! Are you a lawyer? Do you know one that wants to work for free? Perhaps for a bunch of shrill, hysterical crybabies over forty?
Good stuff. Head over to Uppercasing for the full read.
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