Tired of your neighborhood already? Well, it's time to throw on a coat, march out the door, and venture out. Hundreds of thousands of tourists come to this city each year to behold its mighty splendor and uniqueness, are you're bored with it? Pft. Here are our favorite tourist spots that locals (like you!) might enjoy.

ALAMO SQUARE
While tourists take the Hop-On, Hop-Off bus to visit San Francisco's Painted Ladies, locals will be obliged to take out of town friends to see "the Full House house" from Alamo Square's postcard vista for some prime tourist watching. As other parks become increasingly overrun with lounging picnickers, Alamo Square still has enough space to let your dog run free while taking in a sunset and the view of Twin Peaks on the park's less-visited western side. As you leave, point out that everyone knows the real Full House house is on Broderick anyway.
Hayes Street at Pierce

ALCATRAZ
Alcatraz Island is one of the city's only tourist attractions that's legitimately awesome, and if you think you're too cool for Alcatraz, you're probably not very cool at all. The night tour of this notorious ex-prison is fun, informative and totally spooky, but you'll need to book way ahead ... because, you know, tourists.

THE CASTRO
Tourist-magnet or not, it's still one of the best places in the world for a good time if you're gay. Sure, the gipsters scoff at it, but with new additions like Hi Tops, not to mention esteemed places like Frances, the Castro has underwent a renaissance of dramatic proportions over the last couple of years. Dare we say it, but the Castro could now very well be more hip and subversive than the Mission.

DE YOUNG TOWER
No need to pay for museum admission to check out the stunning views of Golden Gate Park and beyond from the museum's observation deck. Tower admission is free and open late until 8 p.m. on summer Fridays from late March through November.
50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive, Golden Gate Park

GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE
It's the most iconic symbol of San Francisco there is, and you're trying to tell me you're over it? You don't get a little thrill when driving or biking one of the most beautiful spans in the world? Don't lie ... you love the Golden Gate Bridge. Subtract the tourists who can't ride a bike or walk in a straight line, and the bridge is simply divine. And if you're a local who's never walked over it (there are a lot of you) give it a try. It just might take your breath away.

MARTUNI'S
It's where you'd take your theater friend from college who might want to belt a number from 'Godspell' by the piano, and it's where plenty of tourists find their way when looking for some gay San Francisco piano-bar realness. It's outside the Castro, and feels like a relic from another time not long past with its abundant silk flowers, low-amplified cabaret tunes, and high tables from which to sip some stiff (but often oversweet) martini drinks. Our recommendation is to stick simple drinks (bourbon and ginger, vodka tonic), go on a weeknight when there are still some seats in back, and take in the show as local performers jockey for the mic and a little time with the accompanist to sing a Gershwin tune, or some Billy Joel. It's way better than karaoke, and you just might find your own inner lounge singer after a drink or two.

THE NORTH BEACH LITERARY QUADRANGLE
Skip the waits for Italian food and give yourself the North Beach writer's tour: First, drink your dinner at Vesuvio like a real literary luminary, then pop into Lawrence Ferlinghetti's City Lights Bookstore to pick up some inspiration you'll probably never read. Then head past the strip clubs on Broadway and stop by the Beat Museum hoping to channel some of Kerouac's headswimming prose before finding yourself thumbing through the boxes of vintage Playboys. Cap off your tour with another couple rounds at Spec's or Tosca Café and promise yourself you'll start writing for real tomorrow.
Around Columbus Ave and Broadway Street, North Beach

PALACE OF FINE ARTS
The Exploratorium may have moved away, but the ruins of the 1915 Panama-Pacific Exposition situated on a swan-filled lagoon make for a perfect picnic spot in the shadow of a Beaux Arts temple. Be aware that it's also popular with visiting groups of pre-Prom teens and wedding parties.
3301 Lyon Street, Marina

TELEGRAPH HILL
One of the perhaps lesser frequented tourist stops around town, especially by locals, is Telegraph Hill, and it really deserves some more of your attention. First there are the Marxist, Diego Rivera-inspired murals inside Coit Tower by a group of WPA-funded artists in the 1930s, which are cool to check out. Then, of course, there are the views of the city and the Bay from an angle you likely haven't enjoyed before. And finally there are the famous wild parrots, which are spread out in different flocks around town these days, one of which still spends its mornings in the trees around the base of the tower. Kind of like nearby North Beach on a Friday night, they're loud, but they're pretty.

VALENCIA STREET
Heard of it? This Mission street-cum-carnival ride bears the brunt of locals' ire when we make sweeping generalizations about "hipsters" and "tech people". And with Valencia Street a magnet for visitors anxious to soak up "SF culture" and weekenders crowding parking spots and bar stools, it's easy to get annoyed with this thoroughfare. But let's not forget the good food, locally-owned businesses and nice bike lane that Valencia affords us. Sure, some spots are intolerable, but others are lovely, especially on those early weeknights when the amateurs are away and you can play.

THE VIEW BAR AT THE MARRIOTT
We mentioned it as one of our favorite date bars and it deserves mention here too. The View Bar, inside the jukebox-y top of the Marriott on 4th Street, is as touristy as it gets — you're pretty likely to find yourself standing beside couples from Milwaukee in cargo shorts ordering 7&7s and asking how far it is to get to Macy's. The carpet is tacky, the drinks aren't particularly good, but the views are stunning, and cover 360 degrees of the city. Also, there are little nooks where you can take your drinks, hide away from everyone, and get lulled into a trance by the snaking lights along the freeway through SOMA.
780 Mission (at Fourth Street), S.F.; 415-896-1600

Jay Barmann, Andrew Dalton, Rose Garrett, and Brock Keeling all contributed to this article.

Alcatraz has hidden tragic beauty. (Photo: andertho)