It's been eons since we last heard Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom's thoughts on things. Last we read, he wrote a book. Now he's talking about redwoodsexual billionaire Sean Parker's controversial Big Sur wedding. What did Newsom, a wedding attendee and noted environmental activist, have to say about it?
Sacto Bee knows:
"There's a lot of dust flying in the air around the controversy surrounding Sean Parker's wedding - coming from most people who weren't invited," Newsom quipped.
So. This could mean a few things. Maybe. First, Newsom could be saying: "Bitches are just jealous they weren't even invited to my rich-ass friend's wedding, so they can fuck off." If so, that would be great. Because he's reminds us of Natalie on Bad Girls Club. Which we say in the best way possible.
Or he might mean: "Those criticizing the event were not there to witness its harmless beauty. This is being blown entirely out of proportion."
But what about this part: "...coming from most people who weren't invited." Most people. Hmm. This could mean be Newsom quietly trying to tell us: "A small subset of people who attended witnessed the ceremony were indeed appalled by the ruination of mother nature. I too am offended."
Or maybe he means: "Apple pony pool purple zipperbiscut." Who knows! Because when we think of Newsom, we think of Veep (and Bad Girls Club). And when we think of Veep, we think of "blur the fuck out of it." And that's just what Newsom did. Well done, sir.
(Pst, we miss you, Gavin.)