What could be better than dozens of celebrity chefs standing around a resort golf course congratulating themselves on shaving black truffles over food? NOTHING. Coming up next, next weekend is the 6th Annual Pebble Beach Food & Wine Festival and anyone who in anyone in eating and drinking will be there.

Over four luxurious days and four wild nights, attendees will roll their eyes at foam while enjoying a bevy of food-based activities (mostly celebrity-chef demonstrations, wine tastings, and invitation-only sit-down dinners that cost $6,000.)

Let's take a look at some of the weekend's events:

Thursday, April 4th, 9pm: After Hours Party: Get this. "At Pebble Beach Food & Wine, the partying continues for our select group of celebrity chefs, winemakers, sommeliers and industry influencers who dance quite literally until dawn. Please Note: This is a private, invitation-only event. No tickets are available for purchase." The After Hours Party happens every night of PBF&W and you can't go. We asked, and they were like, "Oh, her? Um... I don't think so." Then they rolled their eyes and changed the subject to caviar.

Friday, April 5th, 10am: The Triumph of Tiny Bubbles: Get giggly while learning all about the trials and tribulations of “récoltant-manipulant”. Or get giggly just trying to say it. $250.

Friday, April 5th, 6:30pm: The Battle of the Coasts: EAST COAST: Here's your chance to taste some food from the East Coast for $500. Actually, this appears to be a, East vs. West rap cooking competition, wherein East coast chefs cook on Friday, and then the West side represents on Saturday. The East Coast has Jonathan Waxman (not bad!) and a bunch of people who are not on television. The West Coast team features San Francisco all-stars TyFlo, Thomas McNaughton, Dominique Crenn, Nancy Oakes, and some dude from Michael Mina. So I think we win on hotness alone, which everyone knows counts the most.

Friday, April 5th: Interactive Dinner with Guy Fieri: While all of the cool kids will be at the Cecilia Chang Tribute Dinner talking about how fabulous and fascinating Cecilia Chang is and always will be, we (yes, we!) will be at the Guy Fieri Interactive Dinner ($275.) "Each table will be coached with their very own private chef who will help them keep up with Fieri's fiery pace. Feeling hungry? You've got to cook it to eat it!" But do we have to kill it, Guy? Do we have to kill it?

Saturday, April 6th: Grand Finale Dinner - A Michelin 3-Star Event: It's $1,250 so never mind. You can just forget it. You don't even want to know. (They're serving the wine Jesus made out of water.)

Sunday, April 7th: Lexus Grand Tasting: A chance to sip and nibble only the finest new and used Lexus sedans. $225.

While exploring the Pebble Beach Food & Wine website, please see how many astronomy metaphors you can catch. We're at like, 832.

"...we’ve invited a starry constellation of Michelin-lauded chefs whose combined brilliance shines."

"With such a constellation of stars gathered, we thought we'd organize our very own culinary competition..."

"Like a meteor from a violent planet the color of Earth-flames, Guy Fieri rocket-blasts his Steamin' 19-Bean Baby Cow Chili into your face with a SuperSoaker from 1992."

Okay, we made that last one up. Pebble Beach Food & Wine takes place in Pebble Beach, CA from April 4-7.