National Report, some sort of second-rate Onion, reported that acclaimed filmmaker and all-around swell human being John Waters dropped dead on Wednesday. This, thankfully, was not the case. He is alive and well, and his confirmation of this hoax is wonderfully Waters.

Baltimore Insider reports:

But Waters, reached by Insider this morning, says he's alive and well -- thank you very much. He's not only alive, he's in New York and on his way to Brussels Friday to perform his spoken word show, This Filthy World.

"From beyond the grave and back I will confirm this is a hoax," Waters said by email.

So wipe away the tears. But keep watching Cry-Baby on repeat -- if you'd like.

The hoax sent scores of camp fans and cinephiles flying into tears, rage on Facebook this morning. Waters is best known for Hairspray, Pink Flamingos, eggs, having Divine eat fresh dog shit, lobster sexual assault, and riding around on the scariest Muni bus line. And if we have anything to do with it, he will live on for all of eternity.