From what we know of Oakland — which is everything — residents stroll around and shoot each other with guns. Lots of guns. In between going to Ike's and Plum, that is. But that's pretty much what Oakland is all about, right? Guns and Plum. Clearly. But for the privileged youths, sporting clumsy beards and choppy bangs, who consider themselves alternative to the norm, Oakland has always stood as an aesthetic counterpart to San Francisco's wildly self-conscious Mission District. And just like it was in the late '90s, some folks still loudly choose to vacate San Francisco for the more cachet-rich soil of Oakland. ("This city is turning into one big Kozmo piece of shit," a friend told us in the late '90s before moving to Oakland. Oh, if only!)
In an effort to help those of you who plan on moving to Oakland form SF, the Bold Italic published a handy Designer Imposters-esque guide that will help you make a seamless transition. It features a bevy of San Francisco hotspots perfectly matched in the East Bay for sensitive ilk. If you like Flour + Water, you'll love Pizzaiolo! If you love Rainbow Grocery, try Berkeley Bowl! And so on. It's actually a decent guide and as entertaining as it is informative, but will certainly ruffle the feathers of some.
Speaking of, noted journalist Susie Cagle concocted her own guide to the Bold Italic's guide to Oakland. Behold:
As for us? Well, we're betting on Orinda becoming the next big thing. "Oh, yeah, she moved to the East Bay to open a deep-fried pig ears tent in Orinda." See, it rolls right off the tongue. Get onboard before everyone else does.
Update I: Friend of SFist and Mission Mission editor Allan Hough did the same thing back in the halcyon days of 2007. Dig.
Update II: It's on.
Photo/guide: Susie Cagle
