(By Daisy Barringer)

My throat is sore. I have no voice. And I'm not in a good mood. Whom should I thank for all of this? Since I enjoy placing blame on others, I'll skip right over myself and go ahead and put the onus squarely on the shoulders of the San Francisco 49ers. Because, sorry kids, but you sucked yesterday. Your complete ineptitude was embarrassing for all involved: offense, defense, special teams, and most of all, the coaching staff.

Last week, when asked about his team, Harbaugh said, “Nothing's wrong, except nothing's wrong.” Well, Jim, lucky for you that is so not the case anymore. Nothing's wrong? Oh, there is plenty wrong.

Let's start with offense. Last week I said I liked how the 49ers were using Kaepernick. And I did. I like everything until it's not working though. There was way too much shuffling between the two quarterbacks and when Kaepernick was in, it never seemed to make sense. Why put him in just so he can hand off the ball? To try to confuse the Giants? Didn't happen. All that did happen was Alex Smith lost his rhythm and ended up with three interceptions. Guess how many he had in all of 2011? Five. Therefore, I have to think there's more going on there than just some bad decision making on his part.

But that's not all, folks. Running the ball? The thing the 49ers do so well in order to dominate the clock and field position? Yeah. We saw none of that yesterday. The Giants held us to 80 yards with Frank Gore rushing just eight times for 36 yards. Granted, once we were down by so many points, we were forced to throw the ball, but it didn't seem like establishing the run was ever part of the game plan, which makes no sense. Why give up on something that works?

And don't even get me started on the offensive line. Yes, part of the reason they allowed six sacks was because Joe Staley left the game with a concussion, but overall it was a dismal performance. Even worse: since we play our next game on Thursday, it seems unlikely that Joe Staley will be cleared to play.

I don't really have the heart to dismantle the defense, but the nicest thing I can come up with to say about them is that they sucked the least. No sacks, one hit on Eli Manning, and allowing Ahmad Bradshaw to get 116 yards and a touchdown. Certainly our defense has the right to blame Alex Smith for his interceptions and special teams for forgetting to show up, but there were lots of missed opportunities, including at least one dropped interception.

Donte Whitner said they “possibly got too high” with all of the talk of redemption for the NFC Championship game. To that I say: no excuses, dude. It's week six. And you guys already used a similar line of reasoning for the loss against the Vikings. You weren't too “high.” You were completely flat. There was no heart, no spark, no momentum. It was just bad football all around. Speaking of...

Special teams doesn't even deserve my time right now because they know what they did (horrible, terrible kickoff coverage), but I would like to ask what the hell is up with David Akers. Two missed field goals? The score at the half should have left the Niners trailing by one point instead of seven, which definitely would have impacted the mood and talk in the locker room.

All of that being said about the offense, defense, and special teams, there is really one faction that deserves the majority of the blame for this loss. But first, a story.

My best friend, Meredith, and I left the game, shoulders sagging, the fight totally drained from us from too much booze, too much sun, and too much ineptitude on the part of the 49ers. We were quiet as we walked through the dirt parking lot, shuffling our feet towards the car, when I heard a group of guys wondering aloud about what went wrong. They just kept saying, “I dunno man,” so I decided to chime in on the debate. (No, I don't normally bust into strangers conversations, but I feel like the rules are different at a football game.)

“You want to know what went wrong?” I said. “I'll tell you. The coaching was horrible!”

Immediately, the entire group put up a chorus of protest. “What? It wasn't the coaching. It was Alex Smith. It's his fault. He's what went wrong!”

I shook my head and replied, “Sure, but it was also the coaching,” to which they
continued to say “No way!” as I walked away.

Here's the thing. I'd just left the game, like them. There's no internet at Candlestick on game days, so I'd yet to see what the media was saying. All I had to go on was everything I'd witnessed for the past three hours. And what I saw was some really horrible coaching, a terrible game plan that completely failed, and not one person making the proper adjustments to get it done. What I saw was the coaching staff failing.

Yes, those boys were right to say that, sure, Alex Smith was to blame. His three interceptions obviously played a huge part in the Giants putting up points. However, if not for the coaches pulling Smith out every few plays and replacing him with Kaepernick, perhaps those bad passes wouldn't have happened. Smith makes a 55-yard connection with Randy Moss and then has to immediately trot to the sidelines to let Kaepernick come in? What kind of ridiculous coaching strategy is that?

That's only part of my point, though. And though it's not a huge deal, I will say this: I firmly believe that if I were a man talking to those dudes and I butted into their conversation with my suggestion that the coaching was to blame, they would have nodded thoughtfully and at least considered my point of view. But instead, because I'm a girl, they seemed too quick not only to dismiss my opinion, but to write me off entirely. I just hope they read the papers today, because turns out... I was spot on. Ha. Even Harbaugh admitted “the plan wasn't the best plan.” Being right doesn't feel as good as I'd hope though; I'd rather just not be rebuffed so quickly because I'm a chick. My opinions about football are still valid even though I don't have a penis. End of rant; thanks for listening.

Ultimately, the 49ers were terrible yesterday. Every single one of them. They let the New York Football Giants come in and make a statement. And now everyone's back to doubting them, including me.

I can handle a loss, but this was more than a loss. This was a complete dismantling. It leaves me questioning if we're as good as we think we are. Only time will tell of course, but there's something horribly disheartening about watching your team get destroyed while Giants fans all around you scream “Let's Go Giants” loudly enough that the players on the field can hear them.

Today I pout; tomorrow I put it behind me and move on. We play Seattle at home on Thursday and there's no time to cry into our vodka.