Look, it's no secret that we love headlines around here. Headline writing is a lost art. Don't try to tell us tweets are the same thing. Because they're not. Tweets are hollow cries for help disguised as a description of one's lunch order. Headlines, on the other hand, are designed to get bored BART riders to read your article about the Oakland A's. Which is exactly what this one from today's Chronicle Sports page does.

So, congratulations to San Francisco Chronicle Staff Writer Susan Slusser, you handily won our headline of the week with the racy pun: "A's Colon roughed up by nemesis Tigers". Please do keep them coming.

[Note: Yes, we know how newspapers work and that staff writers don't typically write their own headlines, but for the sake of, you know, not killing a joke we're giving props to Slusser. Carry on. Your morning coffee is getting cold.]