In the outer districts, San Francisco police are on the hunt for a teen girl gang accused of swiping smartphones during three separate muggings yesterday. In an anti-feminist twist to the story, the girl gang only attacked fellow females in all three incidents yesterday — including one unsuspecting 12-year-old girl.

The gang, which includes at least three suspects all between the ages of 16 and 24, first struck in the Inner Richmond where they found the 12-year-old girl in a store near Seventh Avenue and Clement Street. According to police, the girl refused to hand over her smartphone when the suspects asked her about it and they quickly jumped her. (Let's ignore for a moment that there are 12-year-olds walking around with smartphones now.)

Later, three girls matching the suspect description struck again when they grabbed a 38-year-old woman near 23rd Avenue and Cabrillo and swiped her phone out of her pocket.

Fifteen minutes later across the park at 29th Ave and Lincoln Way, the girl gang attempted to cause the third recent incident of footwear assault when one of them tried to hit another victim with a rain boot. The boot missed its target, but the girls still managed to nab the woman's phone. As of today, no arrests have been made.