Photos and text: Alissa de Vogel

Last night your intrepid Sfist correspondent ventured out to the Regency Ballroom to see thrash metal shock-rockers Gwar, in what was truly an epic feast for the senses. The band is best known for their over the top theatrical performances, which involve spraying the audience with a mixture of fake blood, semen and nuclear waste. Fans revel in the opportunity to be doused in this noxious concoction. As one fan explained, tradition dictates that a Gwar fan must wear a white tshirt with a homemade Gwar logo to his first show in order to accumulate as many stains as possible. The same shirt is worn to every subsequent show and acquires deeper stains over the years. Fans with the darkest red stains have the most “cred.” The crowd last night was surprisingly diverse; teenagers mostly congregated downstairs and in the pit, while the over 30 crowd looked on from the upstairs balcony.

The show was as gory and brutal as promised. At one point the band rolled a 6 foot tall dummy replica of Snooki onstage, and proceeded to violently abort her unborn fetus, much to the delight of the teenage onlookers who quickly became soaked in her amniotic fluid. Later in the show, the band disemboweled a seemingly innocent industrial-looking dust bunny named The Janitor (pictured above).

Anyone who has attended a Gwar show will be quick to offer advice to newbie spectators: wear clothes you never want to see again, store small electronics in ziplock baggies, leave a set of dry clothes in coat check for the walk home. Nobody ever warns you about the smell. Put 2000+ Gwar fans wearing unwashed clothing in an enclosed space, get them all excited, and spray them down with God knows what, and you’ve got the makings of an unparalleled olfactory assault. Regardless, the fans love it and, speaking from experience, once you witness your first Gwar spectacle, you’ll avow never to miss another show again.